


Gentle Remedy in Uncertain Harmony

by mikeydoodledandy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), The Adventure Zone: Amnesty (Podcast)
Genre: Alien Culture, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Everyone's consenting to it, Fake/Pretend Relationship, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), M/M, Mutual Pining, Political Alliances, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Trans Barclay, Trans Male Character, Warnings May Change, Worldbuilding, contains artwork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22707142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeydoodledandy/pseuds/mikeydoodledandy
Summary: Back in 1997, the world changed. The Monongahela forest was set ablaze and the truth of what caused it became quickly apparent.Magic.The secret exposed and the gate discovered, the existence of sylphs has become common knowledge on earth, their two peoples getting off to a tentative but rocky start.Twenty-three years later, and both planets have adjusted to their new reality and tensions have been rising. The Human-Sylph Peace Alliance has been doing everything in its power to prevent conflict, but change is slow and fear is still strong. A show of good faith that sylphs and humans can coexist is needed before progress can be made.And Joseph Stern, the Alliance’s most vocal human member, has a plan. A political marriage between a well-respect human and sylph to show the world can change for the better, with himself as the human participant.And Barclay might just like the idea enough to have agreed to be his Sylvan husband.
Relationships: Barclay/Agent Stern (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

“Well, are you ready? You look nice.”

“Oh! Barclay, goodness, you startled me.” Barclay raised an eyebrow as the man before him jumped a little, awkwardly turning around to face the sylph. He gave Barclay a frazzled smile as he adjusted his lapels, though he seemed uncomfortable, not looking directly at the other man. “Thank you though.”

“Something wrong, Joseph?” 

As if what was wrong wasn’t obvious. This whole thing was insane. But he’d agreed to it and it was supposed to be a grand show of unity; proof that humans and sylphs could exist in harmony with each other. Backing out would not be a good look for a future of peace.

“Sorry, in my culture, it’s... considered to be bad luck to see your spouse before the wedding.”

“Oh. Do you want me to... I dunno, hide or something?” 

“No no, it’s... honestly rather silly now that I think about it,” Joseph sighed, finally looking up to the sylph. He looked about as self-conscious as Barclay felt, so at least they were together in that. “You’re looking very regal. Makes me feel a bit underdressed if I’m honest.”

The man was wearing an impeccably tailored, charcoal three-piece suit similar to, but far nicer than, the suits Barclay had seen him in before. A carefully folded blue handkerchief was tucked into his breast pocket, matching the tie he was nervously straightening.

It was so strange that humans dressed so plainly for such an important event, but judging each other’s customs was not what this event was about. Quite the opposite.

In contrast, Barclay was donned in elegantly embroidered Sylvan wedding robes of white, orange, and gold, his beard groomed and his long hair plaited under a crown of flowers and antlers. This wasn’t how he’d imagined wearing robes like this for the first time, the sylph holding his hands behind his back so he wouldn’t fidget with the sleeves.

“You look good, and it serves the purpose we need it to. Really sends the message that we’re a human and a sylph doing this,” Barclay pointed out, Joseph frowning quietly.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense then for you to be in your true form as well? If we’re talking about getting the point across.”

“Mh, this is mostly for your side, remember, with the public broadcast and all that.” Barclay brushed his fingers against his bracelet, shaking his head. “While showing up in my true form would definitely get the point across, we gotta approach this with kid gloves. A human face in fancy, foreign robes getting married is much more palatable than an eight-foot-tall hairy monster marrying a human on TV.”

“...You’re not a monster.”

“You can say that all you want--and I appreciate it, I do--but you know that’s how most humans see sylphs. We can’t ignore that. What we’re doing here today might be a good step towards equality and change, but we’re not going to change people’s opinions overnight. So we gotta take, y’know, baby steps.”

“Right. You’re right. Of course.” Joseph rubbed his face, looking down at his feet. Barclay didn’t know the man particularly well on a personal level, but usually, he had much more confidence and charisma than this. 

Usually, Joseph Stern could command a room during conferences and seminars, not infrequently rousing audiences to applause. He was a leading name fighting for peace and equality between Sylphs and Humans, much like Barclay was, and they’d shared a stage on occasion to boost their platforms.

He was energetic and passionate and Barclay admired how readily he could spark a fire of change in those willing to listen. But this was far beyond sharing a stage and Barclay would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit they both had every reason to be anxious today.

Today he and Joseph were getting married, not for love, but for peace. 

* * *

Barclay still couldn’t quite comprehend how they’d gotten to this point. It had all started at a Human-Sylvan Peace Alliance meeting probably about six months ago. 

Tensions had been high after a recent human weapon smuggling operation had been uncovered on Sylvain. It was still unclear if their motivations were to stockpile for some planned attack, be it sylph or human, or simply to turn a profit, but human weapons being trafficked onto Sylvan soil was not a good look nonetheless. The councils were up in arms, as were many earth governments, and the Alliance was doing what they could to quell the flames.

“We can come up with theories an’ point fingers all we want about this particular incident, but the fact of the matter is, these sorta things are still gonna keep happenin’ if we don’t settle these fears between humans an’ sylph.” Madeline Cobb slapped her open folder down on the conference table with a huff, crossing her arms.

“Most humans still see sylphs as monsters, and I’m sure the feelin’ is mutual over on the other side. We got a history of bein’ in each other’s stories and nightmares, long before the cat got out of the bag for real, and at the end of the day, we ain’t done much to prove them wrong.”

Sylvain and Earth had been connected for as long as humans and sylphs had been telling stories of each other, longer than any quantifiable date. Gates would open and shift all over their worlds time and time again and throughout history, humans and sylphs had been slipping through these gates, inspiring tall tales of magic and mayhem. 

As time marched on and their worlds had modernized, those tales had been dismissed as simple fairytales or stories to scare young children on Earth, and on Sylvain human culture had been so taboo that few knew anything about it beyond hushed whispers.

But twenty-three Earth years ago and seventeen Sylvan, all that had changed.

The truth had gotten out, rather spectacularly, in the form of an escaped abomination wreaking havoc across rural West Virginia, setting fire to huge swaths of forest. Barclay had read the reports and seen the damage himself, it hadn’t been pretty. The creature had ultimately been stopped by Madeline Cobb’s little group and a joint effort with the fire brigade, the woman having been managing outbreaks for years, but not before several very clear videos had been spread through the media of the demon in the flames. 

The truth was out and there was no going back.

It had been messy at first when the humans came through the gate. No one had really known what to expect, armed only with old stories of unknown creatures that had only been warped through the years. Contact had been hesitant and cautious but, at the very least, they’d both remained civil as humans and sylphs alike adjusted to their new reality.

Magic was real and so were monsters.

But once the shock and awe began to wear off, tensions rose. They couldn’t shake the fear they’d both been raised into of the other easily and when people get scared, they tend to react in unfortunate ways. Hostility and xenophobia began to rise between the groups, incidents of violence cropping up. 

Governments had stepped in, at first not wanting to engage in warfare when both sides had no idea if they had the capacity to win. Magic versus machine was a hard conflict to gauge and it was not a risk many were willing to take. But for how long that tentative arrangement would last, no one could really say. Skirmishes still broke out and protests were on the news daily.

That’s why the Human-Sylph Peace Alliance had formed, in an attempt to defuse the fighting before it could truly start. Advocates for Sylph and Human unity took to the stands, doing what they could to rally understanding that at the end of the day, they were all still people and fighting was unnecessary. 

“And what exactly do you propose we do about that, Miss Cobb? We’re open to suggestions,” Vincent bleated with a frown, crossing his arms. 

Vincent was the only member of the Alliance who also sat on a Sylvan council and, while he could be as stubborn as the animal he’d come from, they were lucky to have him. He let a huff out through his snout, the goat-man looking frustrated. He was usually a friendly enough man, but they were all a bit frustrated right about now.

Barclay leaned back in his chair, surveying the rest of the room. He’d worked with Madeline (or  _ Mama _ if you were comfortable enough, she was just that kind of woman) and Vincent the most closely, but he recognized the faces of several of the other delegates as well. One man in particular stuck out to him though, Joseph Stern watching the discussion with interest. 

Stern was the American-Sylph Ambassador and one of the most vocal humans for Human-Sylph unity Barclay had ever met. They’d been on the same circuit a few times at various talks and conferences, as well as coming together for Alliance meetings, but Barclay had unfortunately never gotten the chance to get to know the man more personally. 

Stern was passionate and clever in front of a podium and at the conference table, and Barclay had always found himself somewhat enamored by the way the man could pull an audience into a speech or debate when he was on TV. He had a presence about him.

Barclay’s own style tended to be calmer, he enjoyed pitching soft questions at his audiences in ways that got them to think, turning on the friendly charm. He wasn’t anything so fancy as an ambassador, but he had his place here. In truth, he was something of a celebrity with the humans and he brought people into their talks. It wasn’t often you got to attend a peace seminar with  _ Bigfoot _ being one of the guest speakers.

He’d spent some time on Earth before everything was forced out into the open and had accidentally gotten himself noticed a few times in his true form, though he certainly wasn’t the only one. That said, he’d had something of a following as a cryptid long before he’d been outed as a sylph and he’d found that “By the way, I’m Bigfoot” was an excellent way to get people to listen to you. He’d made a name for himself back home as well.

At the moment though, he was just sitting back and listening. One generally didn’t want to get between Vincent and Mama if they could help it.

“We’ve gotta do somethin’ to show everyone that this is for keeps and that we mean it. Trading has been practically non-existent, hell, we can barely get officials in a room together to make agreements half the time. We need to make some kind of show of good faith that we can work together, but it feels like, in order to do that, that faith needs to already exist. Which just brings us back to square one.”

“I’m doing the best I can to soften my council’s trade laws, but you’re right, there’s too much fear to really get much done. Woodbridge has continued to block every move I take towards our goal,” Vincent sighed, leaning his head back against his chair. There was quiet chatter amongst the other delegates, trying to figure out something that could help their cause. Things hadn’t been much better on the human side of things.

“If I may, I actually have a proposal.” Joseph rose his voice above the others, clear and strong. Once all eyes were on him, he stood carefully, smiling at those around him. 

“What did you have in mind, Stern?”

“Well, we need a show of good faith, do we not? But we’re not going to find that in our courtrooms until that sort of trust has already been established; not until we prove to that sylphs and humans can co-exist in concord. As such, I think it might be pertinent that we actually approach this not in an official capacity, but a public one. Make a grand show of our fellowship to both of our worlds and get the masses excited and interested.”

“An’ how exactly are we supposed to do that? TV appearances and debates can only do so much, hun. We’ve had plenty of those an’ we’re still in this mess.”

Barclay’s eyes flicked between Stern and Mama, the sylph sitting up intently. Where was the man going with this?

“I am aware. What I want to suggest is far beyond that, though it may sound a little hairbrained, so I ask that you bear with me.” Joseph cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. “I would like to propose a literal, public wedding of our people, between a sylph and a human.”

Gasps of shock and confusion went around the table, Joseph sighing as several voices at once came up to greet his words, the human just placing his hands on the table and waiting for it to die down. Barclay was still a little baffled by his statement but was admittedly curious just what Stern was thinking.

“Hey now!” Barclay’s voice boomed above the rest, cutting the rabble off. If there was one thing he could do, it was throw his voice. “The man said to bear with him, now let’s hear what he has to say, yeah?”

The other delegates shifted awkwardly in their seats, Stern nodding gratefully at the sylph.

“Thank you, Barclay.” Now that he had their attention again, Joseph continued. 

“Right now, our people only know adversity and fear. There are protests on both Earth and Sylvain that make regular news, people rallying against that which they don’t understand. What we need is to normalize that we can coexist and we need to do it publicly. As you’ve said though, there are so few steps we can take right now that would change that outlook. However, what’s something both sylphs and humans alike flock to that has both the flair and influence to get people talking?”

“...A good wedding.”

“ _ Exactly. _ Just look at the human royal weddings the past few years. The most recent one had almost thirty  _ million _ televised views as well as almost thirty-five million more watching it live-streamed online, and that’s just from official sources. No doubt it went far beyond that. A wedding between a well-known sylph and human would be the event of the year, and that kind of viewership would be huge for us. It would get people talking and it would be proof that we can unite our people. It sets the precedent that our species coexisting and even intermingling is healthy and normal.”

Murmurs filled the room, many looking unsure. Barclay was a bit perplexed himself, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He’d spent a lot of time on talk shows and interviews the last few years, and one thing both humans and sylphs alike seemed to crave was the hot gossip. No matter what serious topic he’d talk about, questions all too frequently dipped into his personal life.

“You make a fair point, Stern and it’s an interesting idea,  _ but, _ ” Vincent’s ear flicked as he spoke, looking skeptical. “who exactly do you plan to get married here? A political marriage is still a marriage and you’re asking two people to bind themselves to each other, likely without recourse. Divorce between two agents of peace, married as a statement of our people’s communion, would not be a good look.”

“I know.” Joseph closed his eyes a moment and nodded, taking a moment to collect himself. “Which is why I’m offering myself as one half of this arrangement. I’ve already put the last twenty-some years of my life towards this cause, with little personal life of my own. Entering an arrangement such as this would be no hardship for me.”

“That’s all fine and good, but as you said, you are but one half of this plan of yours. What of the sylph?” Vincent grimaced, not looking convinced. “I’m all for forwarding our cause, but I’m not about to command one of my people to marry a stranger for the sake of the supposed greater good.”

“No, of course. I would never want anyone to be forced into this. If this is an idea we bring to fruition, it would be by volunteer only. No one forces anyone to do anything, this needs to be a choice.”

“But this needs to be a sylph of high standing, don’t it? Someone both humans and sylphs would recognize, which basically means someone here in this room who’s also single. Cuts our pool a bit, now doesn’t it.” Mama pulled a face, Joseph biting his lip.

She had a point. Of all the delegates, there were only about four sylphs with no romantic attachments, Vincent and himself included. Barclay rubbed his beard thoughtfully, brow furrowed. (He had a habit of wearing his disguise whenever he was on Earth, despite not really needing to. He was just more comfortable like this.)

“Well, even if I was interested, if I offered  _ myself _ to this scheme, it would only cause trouble.” Vincent shook his head. “In this instance, there is such thing as too much influence. A member of a council marrying a human would through the courts into disarray and I would be branded as prioritizing humans over my own people. I already get flack for trying to loosen our laws regarding our relationship with Earth.”

“I agree, you’re far too important to Sylvain to potentially tarnish your reputation. I realize that doesn’t give us many options, but I want to also clarify that if the rest of you are not comfortable with this, then the idea will simply be scrapped. I’m not about to force someone into a lifetime bond over this and we can find other means,” Stern reassured them, adjusting his tie. “All I ask is that we consider it, no need for answers today.”

“Very well.”

“Now, back to how we want to approach weapons dealings going forward. The embassy had requested our input and we need to have something coherent together..”

The rest of the meeting was a bit of a blur for Barclay. Admittedly, the more intricate policies weren’t really his field, he was an activist first and foremost, but it was still good to be up to date with what was going on. However, Stern’s proposal was at the front of his mind for most of it.

It was a good, if a little bonkers, idea that might just work if things went well. They could platform politics until they turned blue in the face, but at the end of the day, much of the general populace didn’t have the time and energy to take a deep dive into the complexities of sylph-human interrelations. 

They needed something that could be taken at face value; something that they could share videos of and make casual conversation about. What the Alliance needed was to get people talking about something positive. And Stern was right; everyone loved a good wedding.

When the meeting ended, the room emptied, Barclay leaving with Vincent and Mama. The press was out front, the group making a few positive but vague statements to satisfy the clamber for details before slipping into waiting vehicles. Mama let out a long breath, running her fingers through her hair as they got settled in on the drive up to topside. 

“It’s days like these I wonder if I’m cut out for all this. Helluva lot different from fightin’ abominations.”

“You do great, Mama. You’re a human that knows what’s going on and other humans need that. They need a face they can trust.”

After the Living Fire of ‘97 that had exposed Earth to magic and sylphs being real, the abominations that Mama had reported the prior existence of had mysteriously stopped appearing. There was proof enough that they had once come to Earth every two months and Mama had had a group that did the best they could to keep them contained and the government had prepared to fight the next one, but it had never come.

There were theories abound about why that was, from the fire having damaged the gate somehow to the presence of humans on Sylvain altering the magic that created them, but no one had found a definitive answer yet. Nonetheless, it was one less thing to worry about. 

Finding herself without her previous duty, Madeline Cobb, with her existing knowledge of and relationship with Sylvain, had become the leading emissary between their worlds in the early days. She was a gruff woman, with little interest in pretty words and stage appearances, but she was a valuable resource and a powerful force in the Alliance.

And Barclay just liked her. In a room full of suits and legal jargon, she was a refreshing change of pace and Barclay had enjoyed the last seven years working with her. 

In a way, he and Mama served the same purpose. While she was a human with experience regarding Sylvain, he was a sylph with knowledge of Earth and humans. He’d come to Earth before the truth had come out, spending his time among humans and traveling the Americas in disguise. It had been an enlightening experience and gave him valuable insight facilitating peace between their species.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Jus’ never thought I’d be doin’ this sorta thing back when I started the Pine Guard. I was just trying to keep people safe, guess I just never expected I’d find myself doin’ it on a global level.”

“I don’t think any of us did, but we’re making the best of it, yeah?”

“Yes, all this has certainly been an experience.” Vincent nodded, idly clicking a hoof against the floorboards. Barclay glanced out the window, watching the trees and mountains roll by, buildings dappling the slopes.

He’d been told Kepler had once been a small ski town with slowly failing tourism, but these days it was a thrumming city, what with the gate being located there. The abandoned resorts had been refurbished, the old waterparks demolished and replaced with apartments and business centers. The population had jumped considerably and the once little town of Kepler, West Virginia was doing well for itself.

They way Barclay understood it, it had been once located in something the humans had called the National Radio Quiet Zone thanks to a massive radio telescope located a few miles away. But sadly it had been damaged by the fire and subsequently decommissioned, the Quiet Zone rendered null. It seemed humans had forgotten their preoccupation with the stars when aliens were coming through a gate on their own soil every day.

It was probably for the best, Barclay didn’t know what a city center like Kepler would do without easily accessible communication, but he could only imagine what life had been like here before everything changed.

“What did you guys think about Stern’s proposal?” he asked, belatedly realizing it probably seemed out of the blue. Stern’s ideas still clung to his thoughts however, the sylph mulling over the man’s words.

“What, the political marriage?” Mama rubbed her nose, humming softly. “I dunno. I think it has merit an’ he’s got a good point, we do need a way to show your everyday Joe and Sally that Sylphs and Humans can coexist peacefully, but that’s still a helluva thing to ask. Why, whatcha thinkin’?”

“Dunno, just pondering it I guess.”

They’d dropped Vincent at the gate, Barclay and Mama seeing him off before heading to the lodge. Mama owned the property and had told Barclay that it had once been a lot smaller. It had gone through several renovations over the years, the hot springs becoming public, and in a separate building, with the sylphs needing access to the springs when they weren’t on Sylvain. Many hot springs around the world had started similar practices.

It had been a reluctant accommodation, but it was one arrangement that both sides had quickly agreed to. Sylphs could have free public access to hot springs and other thermal sources on Earth and humans were entitled to free access to Sylvan wool clothing before going through the gate. There were many things they couldn’t agree on, but sylphs and humans going feral was something they both wanted to avoid. 

Amnesty Lodge itself was a pleasant resort, often frequented by Alliance members when they were in meetings. Barclay had spent a good amount of time here through the years and it was the closest he had to a home here on earth. He was frequently on tours and entourages all over both planets to give talks, but it was always nice to end back up at Amnesty.

“Alright, I’m gonna go check in with Moira, see how business is doing. I’m sure I’ll see ya ‘round the halls, hun. Don’t be a stranger.” Mama patted Barclay’s knee before hauling herself from the car, heading into the building. Barclay followed her, but they parted ways in the lobby, leaving the sylph at the front desk. 

He was already checked in, having arrived the night before, but before he could head up to his room, he was stopped by the sight of the familiar face. Joseph Stern was checking in at the desk, his luggage at his feet. He’d taken his jacket off, the garment draped over one arm.

“Alright, Mr. Stern, you’re in room 238. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call the appropriate number.”

“Thank you, I will.” Joseph nodded, turning to grab his luggage again. Barclay walked over with a smile.

“Need a hand?”

Joseph blinked up at the sylph, only taking a moment to recognize the other man. “Ah, Barclay, hello. Urm.. if you’d like. I believe there is a bellhop service, however.”

“There is, I just thought I’d offer.”

“Then by all means. Thank you.” The man waved at his luggage with a polite nod. Barclay chuckled, taking the handle of one of Stern’s suitcases, Joseph shouldering his other bag. “I take it you’re already settled in here?”

“I am. I’m something of a regular here at Amnesty. They know which room I like and everything.”

“Are you now? This is actually my first time staying here, I’ve just never had the opportunity before. I know Ms. Cobb owns it. It certainly has a cozy aesthetic,” the ambassador observed as they started down the hall.

“It’s a great place, according to Mama it was a lot smaller back in the day and sylphs that traveled to earth before ‘97 could say here and not have to worry about humans finding them.”

“I see. I’ve heard you traveled on earth for a bit before the incident, did you ever get the chance to stay here before then?”

“Naw, I spent most of my time on the west coast, I came over when the gate was back in New York, decided to drive cross country just to see what I could see. Woulda been nice to have a place like this though.”

“How worldly of you.” 

“Yeah, never thought I was gonna be where I’m at now, constantly traveling across two planets. Probably seen more places in the past three months than I ever did during my travels back then,” Barclay chuckled as they approached Joseph’s room.

“Yes, we certainly get around, don't we? Well, this is me. It’s good seeing you, as always. I’ll be sitting in at your seminar tomorrow, so I’m sure you'll see me then. Oh, and thank you for carrying my suitcase.” Joseph opened his door and took the bag from Barclay.

“Yeah, sure thing. Oh, and Stern?”

“Hm?”

“Try the hot springs. They’re great after a long flight, and I’m not just saying that because I’m a sylph.”

“I see. I just might, thank you. You have a good evening Barclay.”

“Yeah, you too.”

And he’d thought that was the end of that. But that night, he’d found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as Stern’s proposal bounced around his skill and the significance it had to him. 

Joseph might have not realized it, but Barclay was the perfect second candidate for this. He was single, middle-aged with little interest in children, with no love life to speak of and, much like Stern, had been dedicating the last ten years of his life to this cause. He was well-known and well-liked by most humans and sylphs, but didn’t have so much political influence that marriage would affect loyalties like it would with Vincent.

If Joseph’s plan worked, it could help usher in a new age of peace and the more he thought about it, the more he realized he’d probably be okay with being the sylph getting married. He didn’t really have a whole lot else going on with this life; if anything this could make things more interesting.

It was insane, but it was brilliant.

In a moment of what he might later consider impulsiveness, Barclay pulled himself from his bed, not even bothering to put his bracelet on, just a loose sweater, before starting down the hall towards Joseph’s room. Getting there, it was maybe dawning on him that this was crazy, but he was high on the notion and he wasn’t going to turn back now.

Swallowing thickly, the sylph knocked on the door with a furry fist, shifting awkwardly. Another urge to abandon this came over him when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door, but he held his ground. Stern answered wearing a fluffy bathrobe, dark hair damp, and glasses perched on his nose, the man looking surprised to see who was at the door. 

“Oh, Barclay, hello again. Did you need something?” 

Barclay was still always a little surprised when a human could recognize sylphs in their true forms, most of them couldn’t, but Stern was definitely the sort who understood the value of that sort of gesture. Barclay swallowed, his heart-rate going a mile a minute.

“I’ll do it.”

“Pardon?”

“Your proposal at the meeting today, I’ll do it.”

“Oh.” Joseph looked a little taken aback, a flush coming to his cheeks, the man holding his hand over his mouth. “I... you do realize you’ve essentially just asked me to marry you, do you not?”

“Yeah, I guess I have.” Barclay rubbed his arms awkwardly with a shrug. “It’s a really good idea and a really good way to get across to the general public that we mean business. And it’s... not like I have much going for me in the romance department anyway, so what have I got to lose? You need a face and a name people recognize, don’t you?”

“Well, yes. Hm.” Joseph’s expression turned thoughtful, the man biting his lip as he glanced Barclay over, though what he could be thinking, Barclay couldn’t say.

“Well?”

“Alright. Why don’t you come in, I think we have a lot to talk about.”

* * *

They’d spent that evening talking over just what a political marriage would mean for them. They would have to put on a facade of romance for the public eye for their plan to work best, but that was something they could work with. Boundaries were laid out and after coming to an agreement, it had actually  _ happened. _

The last six months and been a flurry of chaos and interviews and announcements and event planning and neither of them had really had much chance to sit down for a minute and actually talk to  _ each other _ . Barclay still knew so little about Joseph, a fact he was realizing as they waited together for the ceremony to begin.

He was about to marry someone who was basically a stranger and as prepared as he thought he’d been for that, his stomach was in knots.

“How long are you comfortable with me kissing you?” Joseph asked quietly, his fingers clenched in his pants. “I’m realizing I probably should have asked sooner, but we didn’t at the rehearsal and it slipped my mind. But we should for the actual wedding, it looks better on TV and for our ruse of romance.”

“Oh, uh. I mean we probably shouldn’t be making out up there, but however long you’re comfortable with, I don’t mind.” Barclay looked down at his bare feet, something traditional for Sylvan wedding garb. 

It meant more when the couple had actually honored their marriage journey as a vow to each other that their spouse would travel with them through life, their bare feet symbolizing that they trusted walking with their spouse into marriage without fear. For Joseph and himself, there had been no marriage journey though and that was something Barclay was just going to have to stomach.

Joseph was wearing shoes.

“And you don’t mind that I’m a man?”

“Huh? No. I’m attracted to men, don’t worry...” A lump stuck in Barclay’s throat as he realized the implication of Joseph’s question, as it was something he hadn’t really considered. Barclay had forgotten humans cared more about that stuff. This wasn’t a marriage for love, sexuality had never come up. “...Do you mind that  _ I’m _ a man?”

“No! No. Goodness, no.” Joseph blushed, looking frazzled. “I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter, this isn’t a romantic relationship, but.. I am attracted to men too, for what it’s worth.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“...So a couple of seconds? Is that a reasonable amount of time to kiss someone?”

“I think so. We can probably just do it and stop when we feel like that’s good. Just squeeze my arm if you’re uncomfortable and I’ll stop. We don’t want either of us pushing each other away on live TV.”

“A fair point. I’ll offer you the same courtesy of course.” 

“Appreciate it.”

Joseph checked his watch, bouncing his foot impatiently as he glanced at the door. The sounds of other people bustling around to get to their seats and set up equipment could be heard from outside, distracting in the silence between them. 

They were getting married in Kepler’s center, on the city hall green. It was relatively neutral ground, without religious connotations and right near the gate. The after-wedding celebration would be in Sylvain, at the palace, so that both sides could take part. Both Vincent and Mama would be officiating (finding out Mama was ordained had been an interesting discovery, but it worked for their purposes).

“Thirty more minutes.”

“Alright.” Barclay nodded, glancing at Stern. Joseph’s foot thumping had gotten faster and more anxious, Barclay having never seen the man like this before. He supposed he was getting a peek at the vulnerable side of Stern that, if he had to guess, few others got to see. That did something funny to Barclay’s chest. “Hey, are you gonna be okay?”

“I’m... I’m fine. Just nerves.” The man let a long breath through his nose, realizing he was wrinkling his pants where he was gripping them and moving his hands to the bench. “...Barclay, are you sure you’re alright with doing this?”

“Kinda late to be askin’ that, isn’t it?” The sylph let out a tight chuckle, before nodding. “Yeah, I’m good. I promise we wouldn’t have gotten this far into it if I wasn’t committed to seeing this through. Though I guess that begs the same question. Are  _ you _ alright with this?”

“It was my idea, wasn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, but still.”

“I... yes. I want our people to find unity, Barclay. More than you can imagine. This.. might not exactly be how I saw myself getting married, but in all honesty, I’m not sure I ever really thought I’d be getting married to begin with, so I guess I should consider this an upgrade.” The man wet his lips. “All things considered, you certainly don’t seem to be the worst person I could be getting married to. I admire your work.”

“Yeah, same. You seem like a pretty okay guy, Joseph. You’ve done so much to try to bring us all together already.” A thought dawned on Barclay, the sylph smirking softly. “I guess in a way, you could say we’re both marrying our work.”

That got a soft snicker from Stern, his shoulder’s relaxing a little. “Yes, I suppose we are.”

Barclay couldn’t help but smile in return, looking down at Joseph’s hand where it gripped the bench and wondering if he should take it. He moved his fingers a little closer but was startled before he could when the door swung open, Dani hurrying in and shutting it behind her.

“Barclay!”

“Dani, hey!” Barclay stood, having to be careful so he didn’t trip on his robes as he went to hug the young woman, the other sylph squeezing him tightly before pulling away and looking him over.

“Wow, you look... really good dude. Look at you all fancied up for your big day. It’s weird seeing you in clothes that actually look too big on you.” She plucked at his flowy sleeves with an amused grin before making him spread his arms out so she could see the full scope of the embroidery. “...That’s really gorgeous. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, y’know, nervous, but I think that’s gonna be a given no matter who’s getting married.” He rubbed his neck sheepishly before gesturing at Joseph. “You’ve met Joseph, right? We’ve been so all over the place for the planning, I dunno who’s met who.”

“Yeah, we met briefly for the flower arrangments, which by the way, thank you guys so much for getting your arrangements from the shop. We’ve never had a job to this scale, it’s been nuts.” She nodded at Joseph, who stood to greet her as well, flashing him a grin of sharp teeth. “Sup, dude.”

“Hello, Miss Dani. Good to see you again.”

Dani was Barclay’s best friend and practically his adoptive sister, a native sylph who actually lived at Amnesty Lodge. There were a few sylphs who lived there, in a special agreement with Mama, and Dani was one of them. She worked at a flower shop in Kepler that specialized in Sylvan flower arrangements, so of course Barclay and Joseph would patronize the business for their wedding.

“So, you guys are really doing this, huh? I get that this is for the greater good and all that, but still.”

“Yes, we’re really doing this,” Barclay sighed, glancing at Joseph. “And remember Dani, you gotta keep that this is a political marriage under wraps. In order for this to work, people have to believe we’re actually in love.”

“Right, right, you guys met two years ago at a summit that you both attended, really hit it off, have been having a relationship under the radar, but now you’ve decided you can’t keep it a secret anymore and are getting married. I watched your latest interview, dude.” Dani rolled her eyes before taking Barclay’s hands. “I just... wanna make sure you’re doing the right thing, Barclay. You know you’re like a brother to me and I don’t want you making a potentially huge mistake... No offense, Joseph.”

“None taken.”

“Dani, something has to change. There needs to be a way to show people that we all can live in harmony and this is the best way to make that loud and clear. We’re both doing this because we want peace between our worlds. That can’t be a mistake.”

“Alright.” Dani nodded quietly, leaning up and kissing Barclay on the cheek. “I gotta go get to my seat. You guys break a leg out there, yeah?”

“Thanks, Dani. I’ll touch base with you at the reception.”

“See you then, dude.”

And with that, Dani slipped back out of the room. When Barclay looked back and Stern, the man was preoccupied with his phone, texting rapidly. 

“Something up?”

“Hm? Oh, no. Just texting my sister. She’s saying the last guests are just getting their seats and the music has started. No doubt we’ll be ready to go soon.”

“Ah, right. We’ve got everything, right?”

“Yes, I believe so. You have your ring, correct?” Joseph extracted his own from his pocket, idly turning it in his fingers as Barclay patted down his own robes

“Yeah, I got it. Hold on, it’s notoriously easy to lose things in these wedding robes.” After a moment of rifling through pockets, he found his own, reassuring the other man with the sight of it. “Maybe I should.. hold onto it in my hand so I don’t have to take that long looking for it?”

Rings were a human symbol of marriage and as such, Sylvan wedding finery wasn’t exactly made for keeping track of small objects. Barclay grimaced down at himself in an attempt to find a better place to keep it. 

Stern pondered the situation for a moment before reaching up to his neck, fishing out a necklace from under his collar. He hastily slid whatever had been hanging on it off the chain and stuffed it into his pocket before Barclay could see what it was, holding the chain out for the sylph to take.

“Put it on this for the time being. It should be easier to keep track of around your neck; just be sure to give it back to me afterward.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Barclay cupped his hands to receive the thin necklace, blinking a moment before stringing the ring onto it and hooking it around his neck. The gold band hung just below the hollow of his throat, the sylph touching it gingerly. “That works.”

“Good.”

There was a knock at the door, a furry face peeking inside. 

“Mama said it’s time, so I hope you guys are ready.”

“We are, Jake. Right, Joseph?” Barclay offered his arm to the other man with a small smile.

“Yes. Yes, we are.” Joseph gently took Barclay’s arm in his own, Barclay noting how warm his touch was. The man took a deep breath and gone were the nerves Barclay had been privy to just moments before, Stern appearing his usual, calm and collected self.

“Dang, you’re gonna have to teach me that trick one of these days,” Barclay smirked, a smile that Joseph returned.

“It’s lots of practice, mostly.” 

Jake held the door open for them, the pair giving each other one last look and a tiny nod of understanding. This was what they had to do.

And with that, they stepped outside onto the green of city hall.

* * *

  
  


The ceremony was lovely. All the colors had popped, the weather was mild and agreeable, the guests were fashionable and polite. It was the perfect television wedding, which was, admittedly, kind of the point.

The ceremony itself had been a sanitized blend of both their cultures, with the binding of spirit presided over by Vincent, and Mama officiating their vows and the exchanging of rings. 

And he and Joseph had performed flawlessly. They were both public speakers and they were no strangers to clear and articulate delivery. They’d both rehearsed enough that it might as well have been second nature.

However, Barclay noticed that, both during the binding of spirit, while their hands were tied with the red ribbon of fate, as well as the exchanging of rings, when he held Joseph’s hands, he could feel them trembling. Nothing so drastic that anyone else would notice, but he could.

Then, with the last vow said and the last gesture of union exchanged, it had been time for the kiss. Despite what they’d talked about, Barclay realized he wasn’t quite sure where to start, but much to his surprise, Joseph reached up, cupping his face. He could feel that tremble yet again, the sylph placing his hand over one of Joseph’s before just letting the moment take him and kissing the man.

Joseph’s lips were warm and soft and Barclay could smell whatever chapstick he was wearing as their lips locked. Vanilla maybe. They held the kiss for about three beats before mutually pulling away, Barclay finding himself lightheaded for a moment as he stared down at Joseph’s pink-dusted face, the other man looking equally dazed.

A cheer went up around them, snapping the two back to the present. People were standing and clapping, cameras were flashing, and the music swelled under it all, distracting them from whatever moment they’d just had there. Clasped hand in hand, they’d walked back down the aisle together, their best smiles on their faces.

They’d entered the green as strangers and that much hadn’t changed, yet still, they were leaving it as husbands, and with them, they were ushering in what they could only hope was the beginning of an era of peace.

There was still much work to be done, and a reception to attend, but what lay beyond that? Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I dunno yet, but the idea just wouldn't leave me alone and I'm excited to explore this alternate universe!
> 
> Shout out to [it_is_not_what_it_is](https://archiveofourown.org/users/it_is_not_what_it_is) for betaing this first chapter!
> 
> I'll try to keep a decent schedule like I did with caramel mochas, but no promises since I'm busier than I used to be. I'm also heading to Katsucon this weekend, so I definitely won't be getting much work done then, but hopefully the next chapter will be up sometime next week!
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a reception to attend and guests to greet, but at the end of the day, Joseph and Barclay find themselves wondering just what they've gotten themselves into.

“Is that Bubbie’s old necklace? I didn’t know you still had that.” Joseph blinked up from where he was holding the chain Barclay had returned to him, before disappearing into the crowd of the reception. They would be expected to be together again for the beginning of the banquet, but in the meantime, they had the opportunity to greet their guests individually among the throngs of people.

Joseph, however, had slipped away for a moment and reassembled his necklace, the little Star of David hanging delicately from its fine chain. His sister Hanna had slid up next to him while he was preoccupied, taking him a little by surprise.

“Ah, yes. It is.” Joseph smiled quietly as he reached back and hooked it back around his neck, tucking it under his collar. “Barclay’s robes didn’t have a good place to keep the ring, so I lent him the chain to keep track of it until we exchanged them.”

The ring he was now wearing. It felt odd and out of place on his ring finger, the man rubbing the gold band idly before clasping his hands together to distract himself from it.

“How generous of you. I just didn’t know you’d kept it after all this time, I thought you were kind of-” she made a wishy-washy gesture with her hand in indication, not having the proper word for it. “-about all that.”

“It’s not like I’ve renounced my faith, you know.” Joseph frowned, touching his throat where his grandmother’s necklace now sat under the fabric of his suit. “I just had to work out what it meant to me, personally, and that just wasn’t what Mom and Dad wanted for me. I’m still Jewish.”

“You’re still Jewish, no matter what, Jo. You know it goes past whether you still go to synagogue or not. It’s our heritage.”

“You know what I meant,” Joseph sighed with a small grimace, putting his hands in his pockets. 

While his sister was considerably more accepting of him than much of their family, the topic of their culture and religion could always be a little uncomfortable. Hanna might be in an inter-religious marriage herself, but she was still actively practicing. Joseph’s faith was a lot more personal to him, something he’d rebuilt for himself after a whole lot of soul-searching, and he wasn’t particularly outward about it.

“Yeah, yeah. Still couldn’t help but notice you didn’t have any of our traditions for your wedding though. You weren’t even officiated by a rabbi.”

“Madeline Cobb is a good woman and I respect her, plus we wanted to keep the ceremony non-denominational to make it easier to relate to. Barclay made sacrifices too, there’s quite a bit more to a traditional Sylvan wedding than what you saw. The elegant robes and the binding of spirit are about as bare-bones as you can get for that kind of ceremony,” he huffed, discomfort settling into his stomach.

“Hm.” Hanna didn’t seem to have anything else to comment on that, crossing her arms. She was one of the small pool of people who knew that Joseph’s marriage wasn’t for love and from the beginning, the man could tell she hadn’t been happy with the prospect but also knew it was important enough to him to not make a fuss about it. After a moment of silence between them, she nudged him with her elbow, a small smirk on her face. “Soooo... what was kissing bigfoot like?”

“Hanna!” Joseph blushed furiously, his sister’s smirk spreading to a grin from flustering her younger brother.

“What? You’ve wanted to kiss bigfoot since you were fourteen and now you’re married to him. You can’t tell me kissing him doesn’t do something for you,” she teased, Joseph’s flushed skin spreading up to his ears. “You gonna tell him you were his biggest fanboy back in the day?”

“No! And you’re not going to tell him either. My conduct as a teenager was...  _ unfortunate _ and you know it was different back then. Cryptids were a concept; a fanciful tale to ponder the plausibility of and I was enamored with the notion. But we live in a reality that that’s no longer the case and Barclay doesn’t know I had a teen crush on the idea of him.”

“Alright, alright, your secret’s safe with me.” Her expression softened, the woman reaching out and squeezing her brother’s shoulder. “Seriously though, you can’t tell me something wasn’t there when you kissed him. You cupped his face and everything.”

“...I was trying to make it look more realistic for the cameras,” Joseph mumbled, looking away. Thankfully, Hanna seemed to pick up the hint that he didn’t wanna talk about this right now, giving his shoulder a pat before letting go. “So where are Arnold and the girls?”

“Oh, somewhere. I’m sure Julia has wandered off with her sketchbook to admire the architecture, and Hayley’s probably found a gaggle of teens her age to chatter with. She’s been such a social butterfly these last few years. Arnold’s probably with the twins, otherwise they’d demolish the appetizer table without supervision.”

“Goodness, I’m sure they can be a handful. They’re eight now, aren’t they?” Joseph grinned, remembering back to the last time he’d actually seen his nieces. Now that he thought about it, it had actually been almost five years since he’d visited his sister’s family home. With the talks and tours and conferences demanding many of his waking hours, spending time with his family had fallen to the wayside a bit. He sighed, straightening his tie. “...So what are you telling them all about this, then?”

“The truth, Joseph. They might never see you, but they’re smart kids. It doesn’t take much to notice something’s off when you didn’t even have so much as a boyfriend for years and then suddenly you’re getting married on public television. You might have the general masses fooled, but anyone who knows you well enough isn’t gonna buy it.”

“I know. I suppose that’s only fair, I wouldn’t want you to have to keep secrets like that from them.” Joseph nodded resignedly, keeping his voice low. “That’s why we agreed to tell everyone we’re close to what’s actually going on. Most have been very understanding. I wish we didn’t have to pretend, but it’s necessary for this to work.”

“And you’re really comfortable faking a relationship?”

“...Yes and no, but we worked out boundaries early on. He’s very understanding.”

“That’s good at least. Just be careful, Jo.”

Joseph thought back to that night Barclay had come to his door and agreed to his proposal. He had honestly thought his idea would go over like a lead balloon with how many had reacted to it at the meeting, so he’d been prepared to scrap it and start from scratch when the sylph had come knocking. 

They’d had a long talk about what getting married would mean for them and it was probably the longest conversation they’d had to date. It had been an interesting night, Joseph thinking back to Barclay awkwardly standing in his doorway and fidgeting with his sweater, furry form towering in the threshold.

“Have a seat, get comfortable. I need to go change into my pajamas, I’ll only be a moment.” Joseph adjusted his bathrobe carefully as he gestured at the two plush armchairs in his room. He’d just gotten out of the hot springs on Barclay’s recommendation, his cheeks ruddy and hair still damp. 

“Alright.” Barclay followed him inside, eyeing the chairs suspiciously before picking one and gently sitting down in it. The chair creaked under the weight of his true form but held, the sylph getting comfortable as Joseph slipped into his bathroom to change.

He took a moment to collect himself as he pulled on his pajama pants and a plain t-shirt, staring himself down in the mirror. Was this really happening? Was Barclay, a sylph he admired greatly, really asking to join him in this plan?

Joseph had prepared for the possibility that someone might actually agree. He’d given it long, hard thought and come to terms that this was something he was willing to do. Peace between their people was paramount and he’d been sure that anyone who agreed would be just as adamant about their cause, so they’d have that common ground to stand on. He just hadn’t expected it to be  _ him _ and that was throwing him completely off-balance.

Joseph had always had a fascination with cryptids from a young age. He remembered ravenously reading about whatever he could get his hands on, first in his school libraries and then public libraries when he could, and then at some point, it had become something of a constant obsession. 

Of all the cryptids though,  _ bigfoot _ had always stood out to him. There was just something alluring about a wild ape-man, existing just beyond the edge of human perception, master of the forest. As he got older and puberty had set in, he’d even toyed with fantasies beyond typical fascination involving the cryptid.

And then, of course, his entire world had been rocked when he was in college, as had everyone else's. He remembered seeing that grainy video of the fire and the humanoid shape that stretched and writhed from within it. 

He remembered the days following when they’d stopped the creature and the gate had been discovered, he’d been glued to the news that entire time. And he remembered when the truth had finally come out to the masses. Magic was real and many of the creatures that had populated their stories and myths for centuries were as well _. _

He also remembered the first, early interview with Barclay he’d seen. They sylph had been much younger, and far more inexperienced at having attention on him back then. Many of his early appearances had since been lost to time, but Joseph still recalled sitting huddled in his dorm room, pillow clutched to his chest, watching the sylph bumble through questions about being bigfoot on his tiny, ornery box television in the corner.

Often he’d be made to take his disguise off on stage, which Joseph always remembered the sylph looking uncomfortable whenever he did. It had rankled him that no one seemed to care about Barclay’s comfort, treating him like some sort of side-show. Other sylphs who had come forward were often treated with even less respect, as they didn’t have the sort of renowned being bigfoot did.

Joseph had changed his major that same year, switching from the Criminal Justice track to Government and Politics. His original plan had been--though looking back, it was a bit far-fetched--to join the FBI in hopes that he could uncover the hidden truths of the world. But then those hidden truths had come waltzing out of the archway and proved themselves to be real all on their own and Joseph had had to rearrange his priorities somewhat.

He’d spent the last twenty-some years dedicating himself to bringing harmony between their planets. He’d remembered those interviews and how sylphs were treated on earth, and he’d immediately known that it was an injustice that couldn’t continue. It was after he’d shaken his initial shock and awe of both the reality of the situation, as well as the vindication of being  _ right _ after all these years, that he’d seen the sylphs for what they really were.

_ People. _

They were just people trying to go about their lives and living and learning and struggling and looking for belonging. They might have come in strange shapes and sizes, half their population apparently coming from familiar animal roots, but Joseph had been quick to recognize that, when you just got down to it, sylphs and humans weren’t all that different.

Which was why they needed to prove to both worlds that they could flourish together; why he’d come up with this plan in the first place. He just hadn’t expected someone to answer his call for action the very same day, or for that someone to be  _ him _ .

Joseph splashed some cool water on his face to try to make the flush of his cheeks seem more natural, running his fingers through his hair. This was probably the only offer he was going to get and he couldn’t back down now just because he’d had a superficial crush on the sylph once upon a time. He was grown and well past that now. And when he got down to it, Barclay was perfect for the role.

Taking one more deep breath and stowing his nerves, Joseph returned to the main room, smiling carefully at the sylph as he had a seat in the opposing chair.

“So just reiterate, you do know what you’re getting into here, correct?” he asked, folding his hands in his lap. “I just want to make sure it’s loud and clear that I’m talking about marriage here and, given the circumstances, it would likely have to be a lifelong commitment if we wanted it to benefit our cause.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that.” Barclay nodded, shifting in the chair gingerly. The furniture in this room was made for human guests rather than undisguised sylph ones, Joseph wishing he’d had the foresight to request his room contain something sturdier. “Like I said, I.. don’t really have a whole lot going for me in that department anyway. Kinda feels like I’ve always been too busy for a love life, y’know? Plus it’s even harder to find an honest, equal relationship when you’re kind of a celebrity. If anything, this would get the more clingy fans off my case.”

“Yes, it’s certainly difficult to form meaningful relationships when you’re always on the go, isn’t it? I’ve been in much of the same situation. I’ve been so dedicated to this cause that any thought of finding a partner has mostly become background noise, if it's even on my mind at all.” Joseph nodded in understanding, trying to think of the last time he’d even had a romantic interest in someone else. Had it been seven years ago? Eight? “So it sounds like we’re certainly well-matched in that regard. And with how busy our schedules are, we wouldn’t even really have to change things that much.”

“I mean, we’d still have to make a show of it, wouldn’t we? I know the way you phrased it made it seem very symbolic, which is cool and all, but you know that’s not gonna fly with the general public, right? If we’re open about this being just a political marriage, folks are gonna feel like we’re just jerking them around. We’re probably gonna have to fake a romantic relationship if we want this to have the kind of influence we need it to.”

“Ah.” Joseph grimaced, rubbing his arms. “Yes, well... I was aware that would probably have to be the case, it just seemed a bit distasteful to bring up at the meeting. It wasn’t the most popular idea to begin with. Is... that something you’d be willing to do?”

“Hm.” Barclay rubbed his chin thoughtfully, something Joseph had seen him do before in his bearded human form. Joseph always wondered if sylphs ever forgot what form they were in, but in Barclay’s defense, his face was scruffy regardless, so the gesture served the same purpose. “It feels a little shady admittedly, but honestly? Yeah. I think I am. Our fight for peace has been grueling and it feels like we’re being fought at every turn. If this is something that could ease the way, I’m more than willing.”

“Besides, it’s not like we’re lying about something that can be called out as fraudulent or illegal. There’s no law saying two people can’t get married if they’re not in love and the courts are completely uninvolved in the matter other than making certificates official. If anything, the only ones making sacrifices in this arrangement are us.” Joseph winced apologetically. “I won’t sugarcoat it, it will be awkward and it will be uncomfortable at times. We can make it easier by setting boundaries of course, but a certain level of public displays of affection will be required.”

“I think I can handle that. We’ve both been on stage in front of crowds of people and I’m sure you’ve had to put on an act every now just as much as I have for them.”

“Oh goodness, yes. Don’t get me wrong, I love the work, but there are definitely times I had to put on a charming face when I felt like doing anything but. Remember that seminar we both attended about a year and a half ago?”

“Yeah?”

“I had the stomach flu the entire time. When I wasn’t on stage, I was either so drugged on the medication I’d been prescribed that I was smelling colors, or wrapped around the nearest toilet.”

“Yeesh, I never would have guessed. You still played that crowd like a fiddle.” Barclay raised the approximation of eyebrows on his furry face, looking impressed. “But I’ve definitely had to perform under similar kinds of duress. I think we can handle it. And besides, sure it might be a lifetime deal, but I’m sure after all the hubbub has died down, folks won’t be paying so much attention to us and we can tone it down considerably. I’d give it a year or so tops that we have to actively keep up the act."

"A fair point." Joseph nodded, settling back in his chair now that they were talking more comfortably. Admittedly, he wouldn’t actually be so hard-pressed to act affectionately towards the attractive sylph, given his history, but that was something Barclay didn’t need to know. “We should also tell those we’re close to just what it is we’re doing, as long as we feel we can trust them. It’s more dangerous to have friends and family finding out on their own and feeling betrayed. People are more willing to keep secrets if they feel trusted.”

“Hm, yeah. I know a few friends who, while I love them, would hand my ass to me on a plate if they found out I was lying to them about something so important. They won’t all be thirlled, but they know me well enough to understand how much this cause means to me and what I’m willing to do for it.”

“Likewise. I will also suggest that we should be discouraged from taking any other lovers during that year, just for appearance’s sake.”

“Huh?”

“Just under the circumstances that be something of that nature arises anyway. This is a political partnership more than anything. I certainly wouldn’t want to stop you from developing a legitimate love life if the chance presented itself, though it would have to be kept under the radar. We have a lifetime ahead of us, after all.” Saying that made something strange settle in his chest, but he chose to ignore it. He wasn’t about to burden Barclay more than he would be already. It was only fair.

“Oh. Um. Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.” Barclay looked a little unsure, however. “Though I feel like we should at least tell each other if that does happen, yeah? Just so we can plan around it. I mean, I’m not really planning on bolting off and trying to woo whoever I can as soon as we get married here. I don’t see my relationship chances getting any better, married or not.”

“I don’t see that happening for myself either, but I wanted the option to be available to you. This marriage doesn’t have to render us loveless and celibate if we find ourselves wanting. I just don’t want you feeling trapped. But I will agree that we should inform one another if we do find ourselves in another relationship to avoid any missteps.”

“Works for me.” The sylph rubbed his large palms on his knees, seeming to be mulling things over. “So coming back to having to play at being in love, what exactly are you gonna be comfortable with? If we announce this, we’re gonna probably be called into interviews before the wedding so we should get that covered now.”

“Hm. It’d probably be easier to talk about what we aren’t comfortable with rather than listing out every little touch and gesture that we are. The first one that comes to mind for me is the back of my neck. That’s not something involving you, by the way, just a personal discomfort. I don’t like anyone touching me there.”

“Alright. I feel like this one’s probably a given, but anything overtly sexual. But that wouldn’t be appropriate for public appearences anyway, so we’re probably good.”

“Of course. Admittedly, I can’t think of much else. I’m perfectly fine with holding hands, or knee-touches, or what have you. Whatever we need to sell this.”

“I guess we’ll figure it out as we go. Definitely tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable,” Barclay replied, Joseph nodding in agreement, idly chewing his lip as he tried to remember all the things he’d planned out for this idea. Admittedly some of them were a bit half-baked as he hadn’t imagined he’d actually get someone willing so quickly, if at all.

“The same goes for you as well, of course.”

“Oh, and pet names. We should probably decide on those. People notice when you’re too formal with someone you’re involved with.”

“Ah, yes! Of course, now let’s see...”

They’d talked through the rest of the night, covering all their bases, setting boundaries, as well as establishing a backstory for their little ruse. It was actually kind of amusing to weave a tale about their secret love affair that they’d supposedly been carrying on for the last two years. 

Then finally, in the wee small hours of the morning, Barclay had yawned and pried himself from the too-small chair to bid Joseph goodnight. They’d exchanged personal numbers and linked their communication runes for future contact before the sylph went on his way, leaving Joseph with quite a lot to think about.

* * *

“Holding up alright?” Barclay asked quietly as they both took their places at the banquet table an hour or so later. Joseph nodded with a small smile, smoothing his suit. Hanna had peeled away to find her husband and children soon after they’d finished their conversation, leaving Joseph to perform the same old song and dance of making new connections and maintaining old ones among their guests. If there was anything he was good at, it was networking.

He received a great deal of congratulatory gestures, which he accepted with blushing cheer and flustered grins, playing the part of a smitten newlywed as best he could. It felt a little hollow, but he supposed he’d have to get used to that feeling. Most of them were being polite, but guilt settled in his chest whenever he was greeted with genuine joy for his union, knowing their excitement was for something that didn’t actually exist.

That feeling still hung on his conscience as he had a seat with his new husband, but he hid it well. The man had started to realize that his acting would extend to the sylph as well, his feelings on their marriage being one more burden Barclay didn’t need. Their partnership was strictly platonic and he wasn’t going to unload onto the man.

“Oh, well enough. These sorts of events are excellent for meeting new people, though it can be a little draining at times.”

“I feel that. Everyone seems to be having fun, though. You have to admit, my people know how to have a party.” Barclay smirked beside him, gazing out over the crowd. 

“They certainly do.” Joseph took the chance to observe as well, blinking when he heard his new spouse make a surprised noise beside him. “See something interesting?”

“Just Dani. Usually, she’s pretty shy in crowds, but it seems like she’s found someone to talk to.”

“Oh? Where?”

“There.” Barclay subtlely pointed out the young blonde sylph, the woman smiling softly as she chatted with someone Joseph actually recognized, the man raising an eyebrow.

“Ah, it seems she’s become acquainted with Miss Little. Good for her,” Joseph smirked.

“Someone you know?”

“Indeed, she’s one of my aides. Charming young lady; very charismatic, if rather energetic.” Aubrey Little was a ball of pep and vigor, and a well-loved employee at his offices. She could be a bit scatterbrained at times but she well made up for it with her infectious high spirits and bubbly personality.

“Oh really? She must be something to get Dani out of her shell.”

“She is. She always could worm her way into a conversation at these sorts of events. She grows on you quickly.”

“These sorts of events. Right... It’s so weird that this  _ event _ is our wedding reception. I’ve been to so many galas and fundraisers, I almost keep forgetting that this.. y’know...  _ isn’t one.” _

“It is odd, isn’t it. I suppose we’ll have to adjust. This is the beginning of something great, Barclay,” he lowered his voice, “even if it’s not what all these people think it is. It’s still a cause for celebration if that’s something you can use to tap into emotionally.”

“Yeah, I guess it is, huh?” Barclay murmured with a smile, glancing at where Joseph had rested his hand on the table before reaching out and taking it. A little shiver ran up the man’s spine at the touch, Barclay’s palm warm against his skin. He smiled in return, putting on his most adoring face. 

People were watching now that they’d settled at the table, they needed to make their romance seem authentic. In Sylvan culture, there were no long speeches at receptions, something for which Joseph was actually grateful, but they were expected to thank their guests and signal when the meal was to begin together. 

The pair glanced at each other with a nod before reaching for their glasses and standing together, raising the goblets. The room fell silent, giving them the stage.

“With warm hearts, we’d like to thank you all for coming and witnessing our union. It means so much that we could share this beginning of many happy years together as well as what we hope will mark a historic moment with you all today,” Joseph started, squeezing Barclay’s fingers to signal him to continue.

“We were lucky to find love together and luckier still that we could be the first of what we hope will be many sylph-human marriages going forward. It may have been our want for peace that brought us together, but I’ve never met a more amazing man and I’m excited to start this journey with him.” 

Barclay was beaming, cheeks flushed, and his words piercing straight into Joseph’s heart. He had to remind himself it was all an act, Barclay was just playing his part and Joseph needed to return it in kind.

“Likewise, I’ve never been so grateful to meet a sylph like Barclay. He’s changed my life and means the world to me. This has been a long time coming and we’re so glad to be able to share the beginning of our marriage with you all. Now, I’m sure you’re all hungry-” He returned the squeeze, passing it back to Barclay.

“-so don’t let us keep you waiting! Let’s dig in!” Barclay chuckled. Turning to each other, the pair offering each other their glass to drink from, another Sylvan tradition and the signal that everyone else could start eating.

If this had been a proper Jewish wedding (and if they’d been an actual romantic couple at that), they’d be having their first meal in private together, but as Joseph had told Hanna, there were sacrifices they’d have to make. He wouldn’t have felt right adhering to his faith for something fake anyway. This was for the best.

He took a small sip of the sweet fruit wine Barclay offered him, the sylph doing the same. Their eyes met just for a moment, Barclay looking just as conflicted as he felt, before taking their seats again. Perhaps they were realizing that they’d bitten off more than they could chew, but at least they could be together in that.

* * *

“You having a smoke out here or something? Shower’s all yours by the way.” Barclay joined Joseph out on the balcony of their shared room now that the reception had ended and everyone had retired for the night. He and Barclay had been assigned a luxurious suite in the palace to keep up the appearance that they were a newlywed couple enjoying their first night of marriage together.

It was also the first time they’d get the chance to be alone together for longer than a handful of minutes in a long while.

“No, just admiring the scenery.” Joseph sighed, leaning his forearms on the railing. His jacket and waistcoat had been neatly hung in the closet back in the room, Joseph’s sleeves rolled to his elbows. The crystal of Sylvain glowed brightly in the courtyard below them, a multitude of flowers reflecting its light in the pale night of the city around them. “I don’t. Smoke that is.”

Joseph had heard that, once upon a time, humans had attempted to shatter the crystal, sewing a great deal of animosity and distrust towards humanity in sylvan culture. Joseph couldn’t blame them for that, he’d imagined humans would be just as bitter if the sylphs had attempted to destroy the heart of the planet and the very thing that sustained their lives, but it was no easy feat trying to make up for humanity’s past crimes.

He could only imagine what it would be like if humans had actually succeeded all those years ago. No doubt things would be very different if they had.

“Yeah, it’s actually been a while since I’ve been home. I’m more popular on earth, so I tend to stick to that side of things for the Alliance, as I’m sure you know.” Barclay sighed, gazing up at the stars. “Our skies are so different. Really makes you wonder just how far we actually are away from each other.”

Despite their best efforts, Earth’s top scientists and Sylvain’s top mages still had yet to identify a single star in the other’s sky, much less the location of each other’s planets. As far as they knew, they might not even be in the same galaxy. It really put into perspective just how small they all really were sometimes.

“I’m sure we’ll find each other one day, though whether that happens within our lifetime remains to be seen.” Joseph nodded, watching as Sylvain’s Crown began its descent across the sky, hanging like glowing shrouds of pinks and teals across the expanse. No matter how many times he’d seen it, it was always breathtaking.

Sylvain’s Crown was a phenomenon similar to the aroura borealis back on earth, but from how he understood it, they occurred for very different reasons. Something about magic particulates reacting to radiation on the edge of the atmosphere. They tended to shine the brightest wherever the crystal breached the earth from within the core of the planet.

“Yeah, maybe...” Barclay seemed lost in thought, his expression soft, a hand clutched in his shirt. He’d changed into a long-sleeved shirt and soft pants, long hair damp and hanging in loose waves down to his neck, but strangely he was still in his disguise. Joseph frowned.

“...Not to pry, but is there any reason you’re not in your true form right now?”

“Hm? Oh.” Barclay looked down at himself, shrugging idly. “There’s only one bed, so I figured I’d take the sofa. Even the sylph-made ones aren't great for sleeping on when you’re my size, so it’s just easier this way.”

“Would it not then make more sense for you to take the bed and let me sleep on the sofa? I’m better suited to sleep on one and you’d be able to get comfortable too.”

“Naw, it’s.. Really, you take the bed. I’ll be good. I also snore like a chainsaw in my true form and I feel like you’d appreciate being able to get some sleep after a day like today.”

“Ah. Well, thank you I suppose.” Joseph grimaced, still not feeling quite right that Barclay was the one making sacrifices yet again. He bit his lip as a thought crossed his mind. “Or... well.. No, nevermind.”

“What?” Barclay raised an eyebrow.

“I mean... We’re both adults with critical thinking skills and understanding that sometimes a bed is just a bed, are we not? Neither of us has to sleep on the sofa if you’d like.” Joseph let a short breath through his nose, nervously glancing at Barclay.

“That...” The sylph stared at him for a moment before a grin spread on his face and he laughed, his eyes bright with amusement. Joseph found it simultaneously adorable and embarrassing. He pursed his lips, not sure if he was being made fun of or not.

“Something funny?”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I promise. You just gotta admit, this whole situation is pretty cliche.  _ Oh no, there’s only one bed, whatever will we do _ ? It’s like something out of a bad romcom.” The sylph snorted again, Joseph blinking as he realized that was exactly what this was like.

“Oh goodness, you’re right.” A giggle built in his throat, the man holding a hand over his mouth as he was overtaken by the absurdity of it all.

In that moment, it felt like all the insanity of the past six months had finally caught up to them and all they could do was laugh, Joseph leaning against the railing. All the stress and nerves and bewilderment came tumbling out in the form of laughter, echoing around the courtyard, and it..

It felt good. It had been a long time since he’d laughed like this.

“Oh.. oh boy.. I have no idea where that came from. Oof, now my ribs kinda hurt a little.” Barclay wrapped his arms around his own chest as they finally were released from the grips of their giggle fit, still grinning despite his apparent aches as Joseph wiped tears from his own eyes. 

“Neither do I, but I think I needed it.” He caught his breath with a small groan, smiling up at the sylph. “We’ve really gotten ourselves in some sort of mess, haven’t we?”

“Yep.”

“...But we’re closer for it?”

“Now you’re just being cheesy.”

“Well, now that you’re my husband, you deserve to know, I’m actually always a bit cheesy deep down. It’s an urge I fight daily.”

“Are we talking brie here, or is this more of a velveeta situation?” Barclay snickered as Joseph scrunched up his nose.

“If you must know, I actually prefer a nice havarti.”

“Duly noted, cheese-boy.” Barclay bumped his elbow against Joseph’s, the other man pouting playfully at the teasing.

“Hey now, that’s not on our approved list of pet names.”

“No one ever said we couldn’t come up with new ones.” Barclay stuck his tongue out in response and Joseph realized that this was probably the most open and genuine he’d ever seen the sylph. He’d seen small glimpses perhaps, but not like this and it made something in his chest flutter.

“If you must, then my only request is that  _ cheese-boy _ only be used in private company.” Joseph blushed, shaking his head with a fondness he hadn’t expected.

“What, don’t want me calling you that on public television?” Barclay snickered, earning another laugh from the other man before they both sighed. “...Hey, so... What I said before the ceremony? I meant it, Stern. Of all the people I could be doing this with, I’m glad it’s you. Even if we’re not a real couple, I feel like we have similar morals and principles and apparently a similar sense of humor. We get along well. I probably wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t click somehow.”

“I agree. You’re a good man, Barclay and as I said, I admire your work. This will no doubt be a challenge for both of us, but I have faith that we can make this work, especially if we can laugh together. We’re certainly compatible on some level, whatever that may be.” Joseph nodded, fiddling with his ring again. “And you should try to stick with Joseph from now on, seeing as you’re a Stern now too.”

Barclay had taken Joseph’s last name as sylphs put less stock in them. His new husband had had no qualms parting with his. The bigger man shook his head, looking down at his own ring.

“I guess I am, huh? Barclay Stern. How’s it sound?”

“Good. Though I may be a bit bias.”

“Heh, maybe. So,-” Barclay leaned on the railing next to Joseph, looking him over. “-did you really mean it when you suggested sharing a bed? Because as romcom-esque as it is, you  _ are _ right. We don’t have to act like bashful teenagers, getting all flustered about the possibility of sharing a mattress. We’re adults here; no one’s gotta sleep on the couch. Just don’t get offended if I try to cuddle with you in my sleep.”

“Hm. Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try. If we’re uncomfortable, we can just say as much and make changes.”

“Good point.” The slyph straightened again, gesturing towards the open door with an extravagant flourish, putting on a posh accent. “Well, dear husband, shall we retire for the evening?”

“Dear me, husband, I believe we shall. The hour is well past and I still have yet to bathe,” Joseph replied with a grin, mimicking a similar accent as he made a show of checking his watch. They both laughed again, a small glimmer of joy in their eyes as they headed back inside.

They still had a long road ahead of them, but Joseph felt like he understood Barclay just a little bit better.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! Honestly didn't think I'd be finishing these chapters as fast, yet here I am. This chapter isn't beta'd like the last one but I was ansty to post.
> 
> And yes! This fic isn't only going to be from Barclay's point of view, which is kind of a new one for me. It's making me realize that Joseph, bless him, is kind of a nervous wreck internally. We still love him though.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear what y'all think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding and reception over, Barclay and Joseph settle into their new reality, and the first trials that lay ahead of them.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, Joseph.”

“I’m fine. Just... intimidated.”

“Yeah, but you don’t actually have to do this you know. It’s not a requirement for Sylvan marriage.” Barclay frowned, gently putting a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. No one was watching, but Joseph looked like he needed the comfort. The man was pale and possibly even more nervous than how he’d seen him before their wedding and Barclay’s first instinct was to reach out.

“No, but it sets a precedent that humans mean no harm towards Sylvain. Plus, we’ve been granted special allowances for this, I’m not going to back down. I’m the first human in a millennia, if ever, to be given the council’s blessing to touch the crystal. This is huge for us, we just.. have no way of knowing what it might do to me.” Surprisingly, Joseph leaned into his touch. Maybe he was more keyed up than he already looked.

“I mean, probably nothing bad. They’ve caught humans touching it before, but, y’know, not with permission. No one’s like.. exploded or anything.”

“That’s... true.” Joseph fidgetted, looking up at Barclay from where they waited in a chamber just off of the courtyard, Barclay smiling down at him. He was in his true form for this and Joseph always seemed so small in comparison. 

The sylph had a complicated relationship with his disguise, but one thing he preferred about wearing it was that he could actually see eye to eye with everyone else. His true form was larger than even most other animal sylphs and he always felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb. But for presenting his spouse to Sylvain, it looked better to be in this form to the other sylphs who would be all around them, watching on.

It was an unofficial but common practice among his people that, some time within the first year of marriage, newlyweds would make a pilgrimage to the nearest crystal to present their spouse to the crystal and take in Sylvain’s grace together. Not everyone could do it or wanted to, but it was a nice gesture for most.

Originally, Joseph and Barclay had settled on not participating just out of comfort. But once they’d announced their engagement publicly, murmurs had begun to spread of whether they would do it or not.

They’d wanted time to discuss the pros and cons more in-depth, but at the end of the day, Vincent had forced their hand by getting special permission for Joseph to touch the crystal with Barclay without telling them. He’d meant well, but Barclay and Joseph were both a little irked with him for going behind their backs on the matter. It was the first time anything like this had ever happened, and it would seem like a slight for Joseph to turn it down.

Vincent had apologized, but it made things complicated.

“And hey, remember that after this, we can head back to Earth and the new apartment, just relax for a few days and catch our breath a little,” he reminded Joseph quietly, the man nodding.

They’d worked out their living situation in the weeks prior, eventually settling on having living spaces on both Sylvain and Earth. They’d found a nice apartment in Kepler to start, but a human actually living in the capital on Sylvain tended to be a lot more complicated unless you were a citizen, so Barclay and Joseph had decided to wait until Joseph got his citizenship through marriage before looking for a second permanent residence there.

Barclay had always been something of a nomad and had never really bothered with a house or apartment on Earth or Sylvain. He had places he was known and always welcome in Kepler and the capital, and he’d otherwise stay at hotels and inns while he was traveling for his work. Joseph on the other hand apparently had an apartment in New York that he rarely used, but they both wanted something closer to the gate to start out their partnership. 

Barclay couldn’t deny the use of having a home beyond the show of moving in together with his new spouse. It might be nice to have a place to actually keep the belongings that sat untouched in a storage unit somewhere. He was going to miss staying at Amnesty Lodge, though. At least the hot springs would give him a reason to visit frequently.

“They’ve at least moved the furniture in already, right?” Joseph asked, seemingly grateful for the distraction.

“Yeah, I think so. At _least_ the beds, sofa, and kitchen table, so we’ll have the basics. I’m sure you’ll be happy to have a bed to yourself again.” They’d gotten a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment, which would certainly make their living situation less awkward, and it had been easy enough to disguise as just wanting a guest bedroom with the real estate agent. They would essentially be roommates, but that would be much more manageable.

“Oh, I don’t know. Of all the sleeping situations I’ve experienced, sharing a bed with you definitely wasn’t the worst,” Joseph chuckled, that glimmer in his eyes that Barclay had seen there the night before making another appearance.

They’d shared a moment out on the balcony last night; something real and honest that the sylph hadn’t expected. Barclay had finally been overcome by the sheer hilarity of their situation and, instead of offending the man as he’d feared, his husband had joined him.

It was probably the first time he’d ever seen Joseph laugh. He was really cute when he did.

And then they’d teased each other playfully like old friends and the sylph had felt the knot he’d been carrying in his chest loosen considerably. He’d been worried about having to walk on eggshells around the other man, Stern always having had such a formal air about him, but it seemed there was a sense of humor under that professional veneer.

They’d shared a bed that night and while it had been a little awkward, they’d gone to sleep and that had been that. Barclay had woken up once in the middle of the night, not used to a warm body lying next to him, but had drifted off quickly soon after. When he’d awoken again, Joseph was already up and dressed, having a cup of something hot and reading the paper on the sofa.

It had been a rather unremarkable night’s sleep, in truth.

“So, what was your worst experience, then?” he dared to ask, now curious. Joseph hummed thoughtfully, tapping a finger to his lips.

“Oh, there’s more nights in airports than I care to count, though the most memorable of which was during a snowstorm so fierce that it knocked out the power while I was on a layover in Michigan. It grounded all flights for two days _and_ it was during the Winter Beer Festival, so all the hotels were booked up. The snow was lovely, but the cold was bitter. I bought three snuggies from the travel store in the terminal and lived in them for the next forty-eight hours, ate primarily packaged snacks, and ended up sleeping propped against a wall. I caught a cold and my back hurt for a week afterward.”

“Ugh, that sounds awful. Sleeping in airports is always the worst, and that’s coming from a guy who’s spent a not-insignificant amount of time sleeping in the woods. That said, I was sleeping in the woods by choice. No one wants to sleep in an airport.”

“Right? If you’re having to spend the night in an airport, it’s a given that it’s going to be an inconvenience, because it means something has happened that wasn’t supposed to.” Joseph shook his head with a small smile, Barclay glad to see he was relaxing somewhat, even if it was only with a distraction. “So, did you enjoy your time in the woods then? I’m assuming you’re referring to your time traveling prior to the incident.”

“Yeah, it was mostly camping. I enjoy that sort of thing a lot. Sometimes when I have a little time to get away, I’ll hit up one of my favorite camping spots and get back in touch with nature. It’s kind of a nice way to reflect on where I came from.”

“Where you came-” Joseph stopped, likely remembering just what Barclay meant by that. “...Sometimes I forget you were born on Earth. You were some sort of great ape, correct?”

“Mhm, though I’ve never been able to figure out what. I’ve thought maybe an orangutan because of the auburn fur, but that’s never added up completely. Sylvain changes you in a way that rearranges most of your genetics, so I could be anything, honestly.” Barclay idly carded his fingers through the fur on his arms, wondering when Vincent would come and get them. 

“I’ve heard tell that humans are beginning to perfect genetic testing to try to find animal sylph ancestry in case you’re ever interested.”

“Hm, maybe. I don’t even know when or where I came to Sylvain for the first time, so it might clear some things up. How long it takes for Sylvain’s influence to affect you is even different from person to person, so how long I’ve been here is even up in the air.”

“I take it you don’t have any memories from before you developed intelligent thought?”

“Naw. I mean, a few flashes here and there, y’know? Like these vague impressions of something familiar, but nothing ever coherent. It’s like a dream you can’t quite remember.”

“I see. That’s honestly very similar to a human’s earliest years; I certainly don’t remember my first few years of life.” Joseph nodded, expression thoughtful. “Does it bother you at all that you can’t remember?”

“Does it bother you that you can’t remember when you were a baby?”

“Hm. No. I suppose it’s hard to be bothered by what you can’t even remember having.”

“Exactly. Like... am I curious? Yeah, but I’m not exactly falling over myself to find out. Honestly, I’m more invested in who I am now, because who I am now is the one who can make a difference.”

“That’s a fantastic way to think about it. Very insightful of you.” Joseph gazed up at him, Barclay finding a gentle look on his face. 

Once again, he was struck by how handsome the man was when he had a genuine smile on his lips, the sylph swallowing thickly. Not that he wasn’t attractive all the time, but getting a glimpse of the person Joseph was underneath made Barclay’s chest feel a little funny. He supposed he was just glad they were comfortable enough to be open with each other.

“Joseph? Barclay? The guards are in place, it’s time.” Vincent opened the door, smiling at them both. He was wearing his regal armor, the morning sun glimmering off the flawlessly polished metal. “And again, I do apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed this would be something you’d want, but in my defense, it looks good for the press.”

“It’s fine, Vincent.” Barclay waved him off, the pair standing. “What does the crowd look like?”

The goat-man made a bit of a pinched face, nostrils flaring. “Well. Many of them have badly-drawn signs. Some are supportive, but others not so much. But that’s why we have the guards and perhaps those naysayers will have a change of heart when they realize nothing bad comes of this.”

“I can’t imagine they’re particularly keen on a human touching the Heart of Sylvain,” Joseph sighed, nervously clenching his fists open and shut. “This was always going to be something sylphs will be divided on. We just have to show that humans mean them no harm.”

Except that some humans very much did. Barclay knew that and Joseph knew that, but they had a precedent they were trying to set here, one small step at a time.

“I’m still surprised you got Woodbridge and Janelle to agree to this,” Barclay commented as he and Joseph shuffled out the door, Vincent following them. 

“Well, if they’re sticklers for anything, it’s respecting tradition--often to a fault--and they couldn’t deny that presenting your spouse to the heart was traditional,” Vincent chuckled as they entered the courtyard, finally laying eyes on the crowd. Barclay grabbed Joseph’s hand at the sight, if only to keep his husband close in the sea of people.

Usually, presenting your spouse was a personal event. Something newlyweds would do in a quiet moment after a busy vacation to one of the capitals. It wasn’t supposed to draw crowds and press, more akin to a couple kissing at a famous monument. Meaningful, but without gravitas.

But that wasn’t the case here.

Guards lined the walkways, keeping the crowds contained so Joseph and Barclay could reach the crystal. Just as Vincent had said, many had signs they held over their heads. Some were supportive, which was nice to see, their owners beaming at the couple, but just as many were in protest. This sort of sight was something Barclay had seen many times before and he was sure Joseph had seen just as many, if not more, but this time something felt different.

They weren’t just advocates against conflict anymore, they were a source of contention. Their union was now an undeniable face of what so many sylphs and humans feared. Barclay truly believed that what they were doing was for the best, but it would be by no means easy. Joseph took a deep breath beside him, clasping Barclay’s large fingers tightly. Barclay glanced down at him with concern.

“You good?”

“Are you?”

“Hm. Honestly, I have no idea. Let’s just get in and out, I feel like this crowd could burst at any minute.”

“Good plan.”

The pair started down the pathway that had been made for them, painfully aware of the guards between themselves and the people around them as they approached the crystal, Vincent flanking them from behind. They did their best to keep smiling and not show how nerve-wracking this was, waving on occasion as they got closer. 

When they finally stopped in front of the crystal, Barclay realized he could feel the tremble he’d felt at their wedding ceremony in Joseph’s fingers, the sylph gently squeezing them in reassurance.

“We got this,” he murmured, the crowd drowning out their words for all but themselves.

“And we just both hold our hands together on the crystal, right? No special words or anything?”

“Yeah. It’s not supposed to be some big thing.”

“It certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“...You don’t have to be, I signed up for this as much as you did.”

“Still.” Barclay frowned but left it at that. “Okay, ready?”

“Yes. Let’s just do it now.”

Taking one last deep breath together, they lifted their clasped hands and pressed them both to the warm, orange surface of the crystal. Barclay was immediately flooded with the bright kindness of Sylvain’s light, the sylph closing his eyes and taking it in.

Everyone always felt something different when they touched the Heart of Sylvain. He’d heard friends describe their own unique sensations, from eating a grandmother’s fresh-baked pie, to a hug from a little sibling, to watching the clouds roll overhead on a sunny day. Every experience was personal, but it was generally understood to be whatever made you happiest in life.

For Barclay, touching the Heart felt like a comfortable fall day while camping, sitting at a campfire with a hot cider and a good book. It filled his heart with contentment and his mind with peace as he felt rejuvenated, limbs feeling light and fuzzy.

Smiling, the sylph opened his eyes again, looking down at his spouse next to him. Joseph was gazing quietly at his hand, his expression unreadable.

“Hey, everything-” Before Barclay could ask if he was okay, something dark and solid flew at them from the crowd. The sylph jumped, panic jolting through him as he instinctively swung at it without registering what it was, Joseph flinching beside him. He connected with the object, the impact painful against his knuckles as he batted it away.

A boot fell to the ground where Barclay had slapped it, Vincent shouting something beside them and two of the guards surged into the crowd from the direction of whoever threw the shoe. Barclay’s mouth went dry as shocked and angry yells went up around them.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Joseph whispered, stepping closer to Barclay, his voice strained, eyes wide.

“Yeah, c’mon. Let’s go.” Barclay grabbed Joseph’s hand, purposefully putting his large body between his husband and confusion around them, his heart racing as he pushed them along as quickly as he could back to the palace. 

Hands tugged at clothing and fur and hair in the crush of people, Barclay making sure he kept Joseph close. Humans were so fragile compared to sylphs and all he could think about was the man getting trampled underfoot. 

Finally, they pushed through the crowd and back into the palace, Barclay slamming the door behind them, pulse pounding in his ears. They were both shaking and it was only after the adrenaline started to ebb that he realized just how firmly he was holding Joseph’s hand, the sylph quickly letting go. 

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t hurt you, did I? Are you alright?”

“N-no you didn’t, I’m fine,” Joseph replied tightly, rubbed his palm and not looking at Barclay. There was a pained expression on his face that made Barclay’s stomach drop, the sylph sticking his hands under his armpits like that would ensure he didn’t do any more damage, guilt curling in his chest as he glanced around, wondering if there was a healer nearby.

“Are you sure? If I-”

“I said I’m _fine_ , Barclay,” Joseph snapped, Barclay shrinking back at his tone. Joseph immediately looked apologetic at his reaction, but before he could say anything else, Vincent ran in, harried concern painted on his face.

“Are you both alright? Did anyone get hurt?”

“I’m fine, Vincent,” Barclay replied quietly, hands still clamped under his arms as he looked away from Joseph.

“I’m alright as well. I think we’re just a little shaken up, but no harm done,” Joseph added with a nod. “Did you find who the wayward footwear belonged to?”

“No, unfortunately, they got away, but we’ve gotten everything else under control.” Vincent sighed, bleating softly. “I’m so sorry, you two, I can’t apologize enough. I didn’t think something like this would happen, perhaps it was too soon after the wedding. I should have given you two more time.”

“It’s alright. The press will have a field day with this for sure, but we’ll recover. Our marriage has far more merit than a boot can derail,” Joseph reassured the council member, Barclay finding he wasn’t sure what to say right now. He was still fairly shaken up and frankly, he kind of needed a minute. 

Vincent had insisted that they see a healer regardless, which admittedly put Barclay’s mind a little more at ease. He and Joseph got a clean bill of health, but he still felt a little bad for grabbing the man so hard. It had just been all he’d been able to think of doing at the time.

As they departed the healer’s offices, Joseph kept pace with him as they started back towards their room, offering him an apologetic and uncertain smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be short earlier. That was just..”

“Kind of terrifying?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Joseph rubbed his arms, grimacing. 

“I’m sorry I grabbed you so hard.”

“You did what you needed to and you got us to safety, Barclay. I’m grateful more than anything.”

“I just panicked and didn’t think about what I was doing, mostly.”

“Well then, you have good instincts. That’s not even the first time I’ve experienced something like that, but it never gets easier in the moment.”

“No, it really doesn’t, does it?” Barclay shook his head. “We knew there was always gonna be opposition, but I guess I didn’t realize it was going to be practically on our doorstep here.”

“We got caught up in it, moved too quickly. Like I told Vincent, we’ll recover, and in the meantime, we can learn from this. That said, it... might be a good idea if we distance ourselves from this for a time, let things settle and allow Vincent to smooth things over.”

“Yeah... I think it’s time we head back to Kepler. We got loose ends to tie up, see how our media campaign is going.”

“I think that would be wise. A few days of much-needed rest, perhaps see if our wedding has gone viral.” Joseph smirked, Barclay nodding.

“I bet it has. We gotta be ready for the press to ambush us as soon as we cross through the gate.” 

“Oh, I have no doubt. But admittedly, I think I prefer that to a boot.”

“Yeah. We’ll get there. It’s.. just gonna take time. Boots aside, nothing bad happened when you touched the crystal, so I count that as a win for us.”

“Yes, I suppose it is...” Joseph slowed behind him, looking down at his hand before they could reach the room. The man bit his lip for a moment as the sylph turned to see what was wrong.

“...Nothing bad _did_ happen, right?”

“No, it was...” Joseph paused, face pinched. “Barclay, you’re... supposed to feel what makes you happiest when you touch the crystal, aren’t you? That’s always how I’ve heard sylphs describe it before.”

“Oh, uh... yeah.” Barclay blinked, his brows furrowing. “Why, what did you feel?”

“I...” Joseph looked down to his palm again, idly rubbing his thumb against the center. “I didn’t.”

“Oh.” Barclay swallowed, those words leaving a pang of something hollow in his chest. He reached out, gently putting a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “Hey, maybe it just doesn’t work for humans. It’s not like we really have first-hand accounts about what those folks who weren’t supposed to be touching it felt. Maybe it’s just a sylph thing. It _is_ kind of our life source.”

“Right...You’re right. Of course.” Joseph finally looked up and gave him a tight smile, his eyes carefully expressionless. “I don’t know what I expected.”

* * *

“So this is what you look like dressed casual. I dig it.” Barclay grinned at Joseph as the man padded back out into the living room of their new apartment, dressed in jeans and a sweater, his contacts switched for a sensible pair of glasses and his feet bare. “Hey, I’m about to make coffee, you want any?”

“You’ve seen me in my pajamas, which I would argue is significantly more casual,” Joseph pointed out, smiling in return. He seemed significantly less stressed than he had been earlier, which Barclay was glad about. There was still a quiet air between them about what had happened, but the heart-pounding fear had long since passed. “And it depends.”

“On... what?” Barclay raised an eyebrow as he fiddled with the little espresso machine next to the sink. He actually had something of a knack for using one, it had just been a while and he had to reacquaint himself.

“If we have hot chocolate mix.” Joseph rifled through the boxes of shelf-stable food that had been hauled into the kitchen at some point. They’d still have to go shopping for fresh groceries, save for the basics like milk and butter, but they still had plenty to work with, even if it was in disarray as they unpacked. “I stand by the belief that a coffee is only made great with the addition of chocolate and copious amounts of sugar.”

“Is it even coffee at that point?” The sylph smirked, finally getting the steamer going for the milk.

“Are you judging me food choices, Barclay? That’s not very husband-ly of you,” Joseph snickered, the sylph rolling his eyes. He was a little surprised how quickly they’d been able to fall into comfortable teasing, but he supposed they might as well if this is what their life was going to be like. No point in dragging out formality. They were both always adapting for their work and it didn’t hurt to apply that skill here either.

“Yeah, well I’ll husband your... your... yeah, actually I don’t have a good comeback for that.” The cryptid shook his head with a chuckle, getting started on his own drink while Joseph continued sorting through the boxes. “So, got something of a sweet tooth, I take it?”

“Oh, I suppose you could say that,” Joseph hummed in a way that told Barclay that that was exactly what was going on. He’d have to remember that going forward. After a moment, the man slapped a packet of hot chocolate down on the counter triumphantly. “There we go! You can add this as you make it or I can just do it afterward. Up to you. I’m going to start putting up the rest of this food.”

“Alright. I’ll give you a hand once I’m done with these.”

Joseph got started on his newfound project, working around the sylph as Barclay made their drinks. He was efficient with his process, Barclay noting how he ordered everything on the shelves. He was fairly neat himself, but he would have to ask if there was any particular way Joseph liked it after he was done.

Alright, one Bastard Mocha, hot and ready for you.” He handed Joseph the mug with the chocolate-coffee concoction with a snigger, Joseph snorting into one of the boxes.

“Excuse me? What did you just call it?” The man took his drink, taking a careful sip and giving it a satisfactory nod. “It gets the job done, especially on the go. I’m sure you’ve found yourself having to improvise on the road before too.”

“Yeah, you got me there. My favorite is probably single-serving peas mixed with blue-box mac. Hunk of bread and some bacon bits and you have a surprisingly well-rounded camp meal.” The sylph grinned and took a sip of his own coffee, which was more along the lines of a simple cappuccino. “And don’t even get me started with the kind of stuff I’ve made with tortillas and ramen.”

“Hm, those sound like horror stories better left unsaid.”

“Excuse me, I’ll have you know I am a very good cook, improvised food abominations aside. I actually worked in kitchens across the west coast while I was traveling to pick up extra cash.” The sylph put his coffee to the side after a few swigs, beginning to help Joseph unpack. He started with the dishes, stacking them into a cabinet next to the fridge. A pang of nostalgia came over him, Barclay pausing with a bowl in hand. “I was actually on my shift as a line cook when the fire happened. We had a radio on in the back and they interrupted the broadcast to report on it. I remember dropping the meal I’d just made right in the middle of the floor from the shock.”

“I’m sure it must have been jarring to hear the secret life you’d been keeping suddenly out in the open like that. It was certainly shocking for us humans too, but for obviously different reasons.” Joseph nodded as he continued to flesh out the pantry.

“Where were you when it happened?”

“I was in my Criminology class at the University of Maryland. Other students came running down the halls, yelling at us to get to the nearest television.” Joseph glanced up thoughtfully as he seemed to be recalling that day. “I remember it was chaos. Most of us were piled into the student lounge for much of the following week and no one got any of their studies done, especially after the gate was discovered and first contact was made.”

The gate and all its predecessors had enchantments on them that prevented humans from seeing it if they didn’t know about sylphs and magic existing, but after that day, everyone had been able to see it and it had been quickly located among the ashes of the fire. It hadn’t taken long to figure out that it had been the source of the abomination and Mama, the rest of her Pine Guard either dead or hospitalized, hadn’t been able to keep the secret from the rest of the world.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone cared all that much about their day-to-day lives in the weeks after that.” Barclay put the last of the plates and bowls up, getting the empty box out of their way before starting on another. “So criminology, huh?”

“Yes, I was a criminal justice major at the time. I switched majors that same year though,” his husband hummed without elaborating further, trying to find places for the last few odds and ends. “..I don’t mean to pry, but I have always been curious. What exactly made you want to reach out to the public about your identity after the incident?”

“Hm. Well, I dunno. I think at the time, I was kinda caught up in the whirlwind of it all. There were other sylphs on the news all of a sudden and I was young and dumb and knew people knew the concept of bigfoot and thought ‘Hey that’s me, maybe I can make something of this’. And hoo boy, after you let that out of the box, you can _not_ put it back in.” Barclay grimaced. “I didn’t really realize just how much attention I would get, but I worked with it how I could and adjusted. And I like to think I’ve since made a name for myself beyond just _being bigfoot_ , y’know?”

“I definitely think you have. You’ve been irreplaceable to this cause and a great many people value your opinions and input.” Joseph smiled kindly up at him, a tingle catching Barclay’s chest when he did. “I know I do.”

“I appreciate it. I know I don’t really have a fancy education or title or anything, so I’m glad I’ve been able to play a role in helping us make a better world.”

“You don’t need an education or title to be worth something, Barclay.”

“No, I know. I guess I just feel a little outranked and outclassed in meetings sometimes. It doesn’t matter, though. We’re still all doing this for the greater good and that’s what’s important.” He shrugged. “Even if it feels like that greater good is gonna be a long time coming.”

“As you said earlier, we’ll get there. What happened today at the crystal was unfortunate, but change has always been messy and loud. Rarely does it come quietly.” The man closed the pantry, pausing to lean against the counter. “I don’t know if you ever attended pride rallies before the incident but they were hardly the fun festivals they are today. I attended a few back in college.”

“I remember them, but I kinda avoided big crowds back then. You know how different sylphs are compared to humans about sexuality and gender, so I also never really understood why y’all had issues with that back then, but I’ve done my research since and it seems like humans really have come leaps and bounds.”

“Yes, gay rights were shaky at best and trans rights practically nonexistent before the incident, so I’d say we certainly have. I actually have a theory that the presence of sylphs expedited human acceptance of LGBT+ rights, from both having an example of a society who lives freely and openly about their gender and sexualities, and giving humans something else to focus their time on, for better or for worse. Caring if someone is gay or transgender seems kind of silly when you know magical aliens exist. If things had been different, both of us being male may have been the public focus of our marriage, rather than being a sylph and human. But then, our union wouldn’t exist in the first place if humans didn’t know about sylphs.”

Barclay nodded along as he listened to Joseph ramble. The other man knew more about the complexities of human cultures and politics than he did, so he didn’t really have a whole lot to add about it, but it was interesting. “I remember you were worried if I would mind marrying a man right before the ceremony.”

“Ah. Yes. Well, admittedly I was rather stressed and I think perhaps finding every little thing I could think of to worry about. I knew well enough that sylphs put less stock in that regardless, but-”

“Can’t tell your brain how to think sometimes.”

“Exactly.”

They chatted quietly as they finished packing out the kitchen. They had other boxes in other rooms, but it was a good first step and Barclay found he actually really enjoyed working together with Joseph. They worked around each other well and always seemed to have something to talk about. Joseph was an interesting and kind man, and Barclay was enjoying spending time with him.

When early afternoon rolled around, they decided to pause for a late lunch, ordering Thai (if only to avoid dirtying the newly-assembled kitchen for just a little bit longer) and plopping down on the sofa, as the table was stacked with more boxes, while they ate. It felt good to sit for a minute and relax.

Joseph stretched his legs out, propping them on the coffee table as he dug into his container of chicken pad see ew with a pair of chopsticks, letting out a contented sigh. Barclay prodded his own stir fry a moment, mixing it up before taking a bite. He found himself looking down at Joseph’s ankles, something seeming off in a way that he couldn’t quite place until he finally realized what it was.

He’d always assumed Joseph wore his Sylvan wool around his ankle since he’d never seen a band or bracelet around his wrist, most people who stayed in Sylvain frequently wearing accessories that didn’t have to be taken off for bathing. The ankle was a fairly common spot to keep the trinkets that kept humans from going mad on their planet, as it was out of the way and unobtrusive.

“Hey uh... not to pry, but where do you keep your wool? You can’t tell me you actually wear Sylvan clothing all the time, I’ve seen you go take a shower.” He asked between bites, glancing at the man curiously.

“Oh well, I um.. It’s somewhere I can never lose it.”

Barclay almost choked, coughing roughly, thumping his chest. “Holy _shit_ , do you have a Stitch?”

“Yes, I do, but they really aren’t deserving of their reputations, especially in this day and age. It’s not like I’m threading wool through piercings like the activists of fifteen years ago,” Joseph huffed, pulling a broad noodle into his mouth and chewing slowly. 

“I know it’s like... an implant now, but I just remember the horror stories on the news about all the infections people were getting from getting Stitch piercings in their homes rather than going to a professional.”

Back when Sylvan wool had finally been made available to the human public, a new trend had cropped up in a lot of punk and hard-core activist groups of finding ways to wear it permanently as a show of solidarity with sylphs as proof they could be trusted to be on Sylvain without the worry of ever going feral. It was well-intentioned, but not everyone practiced safe methods of doing it, several news channels running stories on those who ended up hospitalized from the practice.

It had been dubbed “The Stitch” and even now that there were much safer and sanitary procedures to get one, the infamous reputation of getting Sylvan wool permanently incorporated into your body had stayed the same.

“I imagine having bare thread attached to your skin is just asking for trouble, but the implants are perfectly safe.” Joseph put his takeout container down on the coffee table, hiking up his sweater to show Barclay his hip. The sylph could see a tiny line of pink scar-tissue against his skin there, Joseph pointing it out. 

“Oh, huh.”

“Body safe plastic, with a few fibers of wool completely sealed inside. It’s about the size of a popcorn kernel. The procedure took all of fifteen minutes and I was just a little sore for a weekend. It’s frankly my opinion that every human should get it, but there’s still a stigma surrounding it, unfortunately. People worry about it degrading or getting lost in their bodies or what have you.”

Barclay reached for the scar, but stopped, looking up to make sure it was alright with Joseph first. “May I?”

“If you’d like.”

The sylph carefully pressed a finger to the raised skin, able to feel a tiny bead just under the surface before pulling away again. “Oh, that’s actually a lot like my implant. I dunno why I thought it’d be different.”

“Your implant?”

“Oh, uh, my hormone implant. It’s enchanted instead of the kind of thing I’ve seen humans do, but it stimulates my body to produce testosterone at a higher level since it doesn’t make enough normally.”

“I see, some sort of deficiency then? Not that your medical history is really any of my business.”

“Oh, naw, I’m just trans. I dunno if I should’ve mentioned that sooner or not, but it just never really came up.”

“Oh. You could have never mentioned it if you weren’t comfortable to do so, I respect your privacy, but thank you for telling me.” Joseph popped a piece of chicken into his mouth with a smile, clicking his chopsticks idly. “I’m fairly confident I’m a cisgender male, so I can’t speak for fully understanding the trans experience as I’ve only been privy to second-hand accounts, so if I ever make you uncomfortable about something, please tell me. I promise it’s not intentional, usually just ill-informed.”

“Alright. Appreciate it, Joseph. Thank you.” 

“Of course.”

They finished up their lunch and were about to start unpacking the next round of boxes when there was a knock at the door. The pair looked at each other with confusion, as they’d made sure the only ones who had access to their apartment were approved guests to keep the press at bay and they weren’t expecting anyone.

“I’ll get it.” Barclay padded over to the door, peeking through the peephole. It took him a minute, but he recognized the face of Joseph’s aide, Aubrey Little. She seemed to be carrying a large basket. The sylph opened the door, the young woman beaming up at him.

“Hi! I’m Aubrey, we met in passing at the wedding. I know who you are of course, but I didn’t know if you remembered me.”

“Yeah, I remember you. You and Dani were chatting it up last time I saw you, she’s a friend of mine,” Barclay chuckled, opening the door the rest of the way for her. “I’m guessing you’re here to speak with Joseph? He’s here, we were just unpacking.”

“Actually, I’m here with something for both of you. This just got delivered to Joseph, and I just _had_ to be the one to bring it to you, since it’s so hilarious. Don’t worry, we checked it and everything first.”

“Oh, hello Miss Little. Dare I ask just what _this_ is?” Joseph joined them as Aubrey put the cellophane-wrapped basket down on the nearest surface she could find. It was stuffed full of shirts and mugs and candies and what looked like a small pillow and it only took Barclay a moment to realize what he was seeing.

“No. No way, really? Already? Damn, some people are fast.” Barclay started opening the wrapping, Joseph snagging the letter that was taped to the front of the gift basket as the sylph unrolled one of the shirts. 

Sure, enough, there were his and Joseph’s faces plastered on the front, royal wedding style, but with the extra flair of a raunchy bigfoot pun mixed in. He and his new spouse stared at it for a moment, at a loss for words as Aubrey was doing her best not to laugh at their reactions.

“That’s.. Hm.”

“Yeah.” Throwing the shirt to the side, Barclay started inspecting the rest of the wedding-themed merch, all of them equally cheesy and not even that well-made, while Joseph opened the letter behind him. After a moment, he heard the man groan. “What? Who’s it from?”

“See for yourself. I’d forgotten he was who our interview this next weekend was with.”

Joseph held out the piece of paper for Barclay to read, a grimace growing on the sylph’s face as he saw what it said.

> _Dear Mr. and Mr. Joseph and Barclay Stern,_
> 
> _Congratulations are in the highest order for your marriage, it’s always lovely when two people start their lives together._
> 
> _I hope my gifts find you well! I thought you both would enjoy a sample of my newest merchandising line, they’ve been selling spectacularly and I have both of you to thank for that, so I thought a gift basket was in order. Nothing but the best for you both!_
> 
> _I look forward to having you on the show this coming weekend, I’m sure it will be an interview for the ages and I know the audience is just dying to see how you’re both settling into married life. Never a dull moment on Saturday Night Dead!_
> 
> _Keeping this brief, as I’m sure you both have_ **_better_** _things to be doing with your time as newlyweds. See you on the show!_
> 
> **_-Ned “Blessed Matrimony” Chicane_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm been admittedly taking a lot of liberties with this universe and the wordbuilding, but oh man is it fun to imagine what the world would be like if we'd found out magic was real decades ago years ago. It's not all candy and butterflies, that's for sure, but it's really interesting to explore the tensions between humans and sylphs.
> 
> And of course, the boys getting to know each other a little better!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I always appreciate feedback!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Interview with Ned Chicane.

“Remind me again why we’re doing an interview with Ned “Fuckin” Chicane,” Barclay grumbled as they flipped through the script again before they were due on for the show, the pair waiting in their green room. 

Aubrey had been in and out a few times making sure they had everything before they went on, though Joseph had now requested they be left alone until it was time for them to make their appearance.

“He might not be the most... sensitive, but you have to admit he gets attention and right now we need all the positive viewership we can get,” Joseph pointed out, though he admittedly wasn’t the most thrilled either. Barclay and Ned Chicane had _history_ , the sylph having been on Ned’s show before. Ned, while a jovial fellow and probably well-meaning, had a habit of stepping on toes.

“Yeah, I know. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I can handle him just fine these days. The only way to not let Ned walk all over you is to beat him at his own game, I’d just rather I didn’t have to.”

“Oh, and what is his game then?”

“Who can be the most charming in the room,” Barclay rolled his eyes, flipping through the pages. “And don’t get tripped up if he goes off-script. He likes to do that, says he gets more authentic answers.”

“Something you’ve experienced first hand, I presume?” Joseph thought back to Barclay’s past interviews with Ned that he’d watched. If the talk show host had gone off-script, Joseph hadn’t been able to tell, as the sylph had always handled with easy aplomb. Even still, Joseph felt a spark of indignation for his husband.

Ned Chicane was the definition of someone who’d made his entire livelihood off the sensationalism of sylphs and magic. He’d actually been living in Kepler when the abomination broke loose and had been one of the people who had caught it on video. Between that and the fact that he’d been running a cryptid-themed tourist trap hardly a mile from the gate led many to believe he’d been in on the truth about Sylvain well before the incident.

He’d denied these claims, something Joseph was actually inclined to believe, but nonetheless, Ned had taken his newfound attention and ran with it. He’d already been the host of a local show on the public network in Kepler that ran cheesy old monster movies, and with his newly acquired fame, the show had boomed in popularity.

These days Ned Chicane and Saturday Night Dead were household names alongside the likes of Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, and John Oliver.

(How Ned had gotten away with calling it Saturday Night Dead without getting sued by Saturday Night Live was beyond Joseph, but he supposed all these shows were so close to each other in title now that no one really cared as long as they were just different enough.)

Joseph had certainly been on live shows before, but rarely of this nature. As an ambassador, his interviews tended to be more formal and based in the politics he advocated for. He was well-known and most people could put his name to his face when they saw him, but he wasn’t like Barclay. 

Barclay was a _celebrity_. He’d joined the Alliance about ten years ago--though they’d crossed paths sparingly until now--but before then, Barclay had become rather famous off the sheer popularity of being bigfoot alone. Or rather, being one of several sylphs who had originated as great apes and spent some time on earth. Barclay wasn’t responsible for every sighting of bigfoot throughout the years, but he was certainly the most charismatic.

They were lucky that Barclay had chosen to put his fame towards the cause, he brought a lot of attention to what the Alliance was trying to achieve and had quickly grown into far more than just being famous for being a cryptid in their ranks. That said, he was still probably far more familiar with talk shows like this than his husband was, given his history, but Joseph could understand why he’d be uncomfortable here.

Saturday Night Dead had been one of the first shows Barclay had been on all those years ago where he’d been made to take off his disguise on TV.

It hadn’t _just_ been Ned, even though his show definitely had more of a focus on the supernatural, making it the perfect medium for covering these things. Having guest sylphs show their true forms had been a fairly common practice for most shows in those early days, everyone clambering to see these “creatures” for themselves. Barclay had always been supposedly willing, but Joseph had watched those interviews enough times to pick up on the hesitancy of his now-husband.

Now that they’d been living together, even if it had only been a week, Joseph had been learning a lot more of Barclay’s body language beyond nervousness. He’d been learning a lot about the man in general, and Joseph was starting to think it might become a problem for him.

Or about as much of a problem as developing a crush on his husband could be. Their whole relationship was a very strange grey area to exist in.

The past week of just getting to know Barclay without the distraction of conferences and meetings and interviews had left Joseph suspecting he’d have to spend the rest of his life with unrequited yearning, but that was a fate he was just going to have to accept.

While his original feelings for Barclay all those years ago had been superficial at best, rooted in his infatuation with cryptids, what he’d been feeling this past week had been... _different_. Perhaps it was just the proximity, he’d never gotten to spend so much time with someone in such a domestic setting, but it was perplexing nonetheless.

Barclay was kind and thoughtful. He made them coffee in the mornings and, as he’d claimed on their first day, he was, in fact, a very good cook. Before his marriage to Barclay, Joseph wasn’t sure when the last time he’d had a home-cooked meal had been, but now it was almost every evening. If it continued he had little doubt he’d have to invest in bigger pants.

Not that he minded, his doctor had always told him he could stand to gain some weight. He’d just never been particularly good at keeping a regular eating schedule between his travels and how deep he got into his work, but Barclay’s cooking was something he found he wanted to make time for.

He helped in the kitchen of course, not wanting his spouse to do all the work. Joseph wasn’t the best cook in comparison, but Barclay was patient and found him things to do that he could perform with relative ease. This usually involved chopping vegetables or keeping an eye on bubbling pots, but it was something.

The sylph really seemed at home in the kitchen, and Joseph couldn’t help but wonder if he might have become a chef in another life. He’d voiced how ecstatic he was to have a place to cook again and Joseph was glad that, in all this absurdity, their marriage could at least give his husband that.

“So why kitchens? You mentioned that you worked in several before the incident.” Joseph had asked him over dinner one night last week, the pair back on the sofa with the TV on low in the background. Even though their kitchen table was free for use now, they tended to settle into eating wherever they were comfortable instead, especially when they could have the news on at the same time. “Sylphs don’t really need to eat much, do they not? Especially when they have access to hot springs or an energy crystal.”

The springs were the easiest method for a sylph to rejuvenate while they were on earth, but most also carried crystals they could charge with energy either on Sylvain or in a spring so they could last longer on Earth without getting close to going feral. 

Barclay had one, the little orange crystal dangling around his neck on a chain. He still frequented the springs, but the crystal apparently gave him a few weeks before he began to deteriorate, allowing him to travel for his work. 

Joseph had always wondered if there was a way to make a crystal work like a Stitch, so a sylph would never have to worry about losing it, but he supposed it was much more complicated than that. Sylvan wool just had to exist on a person to do its job, while the crystals had to be charged.

“We don’t, no, but I just like to. We have the ability to taste stuff and get enjoyment from that, so I just never really saw the point in denying myself that. I’ve got a pretty sensitive palate, probably comes from having a strong sense of smell, and I’ve always found all these different flavors really neat to explore,” Barclay chuckled, popping a forkful of greens into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. 

“I suppose it makes sense to want to be good at cooking when all you get out of it is enjoyment.”

“Yeah, exactly. Us animal folks also just have this sort of vague sense of remembering what it’s like to be hungry and it feels weird not to eat. Native Sylphs have a sort of different physiology than we do, but I know a lot of them still enjoy food. There’s a sort of social aspect to it too, I think.” 

“So you just decided that you wanted to cook when you needed the money back then?” Joseph asked, nodding. He’d read about the Sylvan relationship with eating before, but it was always interesting to hear about it first-hand, especially from someone who had considerable knowledge on food and cooking.

“Yeah, kinda. I’m gonna be honest with you though, the first time I did was actually pretty rough. I remember the first kitchen I worked in at this little diner, I was super strapped for cash and had been considering going back to Sylvain, but my crystal had gotten really low. Whenever that happened I would just make a beeline for the closest hot spring, but the time I got to this town that had one, it was already closed for the night. Thing is, what we don’t often tell humans about is that when a sylph gets low on energy, you start to get like actually, _physically_ hungry. And of course back then, you had to pay to access most springs, so I didn’t wanna use the last of my money on food.”

“I think I’ve actually heard about that. Hunger is the first stage of going feral, isn’t it?” Joseph’s eyes widened, a little surprised that Barclay had gotten so close to that point before. It was no wonder most sylphs weren't particularly keen on telling humans, as the implications of what that hunger meant was terrifying.

“Yes and no. It can take a good two weeks after you start getting hungry to go completely feral, but I’ve heard those two weeks are complete torture. Anyway, as you can imagine, I’m kinda freaking out even though I know I’ll be able to get to the springs in the morning and I’m _starving_ and this little diner is right here. I know I don’t have the money to get something beyond a coffee though, so I go in and I ask if I can have a meal if I wash dishes for a few hours. Surprisingly enough, the owner actually agreed and I swear, at the time, that country fried steak they made me was probably the best thing I’d ever eaten.”

“Food does always taste better when you’re famished, at least for humans. I’m sure for sylphs, it’s a bit scarier when you’re actually hungry though.” 

“Yeah, a bit.” Barclay shrugged, rubbing his palm on the arm of the sofa. “But it turned out for the best. The owner apparently liked me enough that he told me if I came back the next day for a full workday, he’d give me lunch _and_ pay me. Of course, I didn’t need the food once I hit up the springs, but I needed the money, so I took him up on the offer. I stayed for about two weeks before moving on. It was there that I started picking up how to cook human food and I like the experience so much, I just kept doing it whenever I needed money again.”

“Quite humble beginnings. I’m sure back then you probably didn’t think you’d be doing what you are today,” Joseph commented, idly glancing up at whatever was going on with the news while they talked.

“Honestly, I dunno _what_ I thought I was gonna be doing back then. I came to Earth because I didn’t really have anything going for me back on Sylvain and I was just trying to find myself out in the world.” Barclay rubbed his chest idly, something Joseph had seen him do a few times whenever he talked about his past. He couldn’t help but wonder about the significance, if there was one. “Didn’t really expect the world to find _me_ instead, but I like to think I rolled with it.”

“I think you've done quite well for yourself, your recent marriage to a stranger aside.” Joseph chuckled tightly, Barclay raising an eyebrow at him.

“...I don’t regret this, y’know. Sure, it’s kinda strange, but... I dunno.” The sylph shrugged again, letting out a long breath. “I like having you as a roommate, and I’d forgotten how nice it is to cook for someone. I think it’s good for me to be able to slow down a little; there’s less expectation to be going all the time when you have a spouse to come home to. I mean, I’m sure we’ll still be busy a lot anyway, but now we have an excuse to give ourselves a break when we need it.”

“Oh. Hm, I suppose I didn’t consider that. It would be suspicious if we didn’t take time to ourselves on occasion.” And while he knew now was probably the worst time to slow on their efforts, he couldn’t deny it would be nice not to be perpetually exhausted all the time.

“And, don’t worry, starting this weekend, we’re gonna be thrown back into the fire again with that interview with Ned. And I’m sure you know how that works, there will be an interview, and then dealing with the press, and then an afterparty, and then we’ll be saying the same things at the next interview. Rinse, repeat.”

“Never a dull moment, is it?”

“Nope.”

And now here they were, back into the fire with Ned Chicane.

Aubrey poked her head back into their room, smiling at both of them. “Hey, you guys, you’re gonna be on in fifteen, so head on to the back and get mic’d up and get ready for the signal.”

“Thank you, Miss Little.” Joseph glanced at Barclay once more as he put the script to the side, both of them having it fairly memorized, before getting up and heading out to make their appearance.

* * *

“And now let’s welcome the couple I’m sure we’ve all been _dying_ to hear from since their marvelous wedding, Mr. Joseph and Barclay Stern!” Ned Chicane boomed, the crowd going wild around them as Barclay and Joseph walked onto the stage, waving warmly to everyone as they got applause. They were hand in hand, grinning and waiting for the noise to settle down before Ned gestured at the couch in the middle of the stage for them to sit, plopping down in the chair next to it.

Barclay and Joseph got comfortable, Barclay wrapping his arm around Joseph’s shoulder, sitting flush with his husband. Joseph’s heart skipped in his chest at the closeness, but that was another thing he was going to have to endure for the sake of appearing authentic. He slid his hand on Barclay’s knee easily as they settled against each other, the perfect picture of a happy couple.

“Welcome, welcome! I’m so thrilled to have you here and honored to be your first TV appearance since your wedding. How’s the honeymoon been treating you, my friends?”

“Thanks, Ned, it’s good to be here,” Barclay replied warmly, chuckling as he looked to Stern next to him. “Wouldn’t really call it a honeymoon, we’re holding off on a real vacation until later, right babe?”

Babe. That was him. Right. 

Joseph put on his most adoring smile, addressing Ned. “Yes, it’s been quite the whirlwind of events and there's been so much to do, so we’ve decided to put off the honeymoon until we could use a good break. This last week has mostly been unpacking a lot of boxes. And eating my husband’s cooking.”

“Oh that’s right, I’d forgotten you used to be a chef, Barclay. You’ve talked about that here on the show before, back in the day. Those were good times,” Ned chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “And sounds like your man here appreciates it.”

“Well, I sure hope he does anyway.” Barclay squeezed Joseph’s shoulder, Joseph blushing softly. 

“Oh, absolutely. He’s going to spoil me at this rate,” Joseph teased, as he tried to relax against his spouse’s arm. The audience tittered, Ned letting them calm down before starting talking again.

“Aren’t they just the cutest.” Ned grinned, addressing his audience. Ned had a tendency to ham it up and run his shows a little retro with an old TV announcer vibe, but it fit his aesthetic. “Now, as I’m sure you’re all aware, Barclay and Joseph here got married this last weekend in what was the first public human-syph marriage. In fact, if you don’t know about it, I’d reckon you’ve been living under a rock or in a coma, because this lovely couple’s ceremony was all over just about every channel and livestream on their big day. Here’s a little reminder for you all just in case though.”

Barclay and Joseph both craned their necks a little to see the TV screen behind them as it played a few minutes of their wedding after they’d exchanged rings and were saying their “I do’s”. They were urged to kiss by Mama and Vincent, Joseph watching as he cupped Barclay’s face to kiss him. He’d seen the clip before, but it still always felt like he was watching someone else rather than himself. That moment looked so different than it had felt.

The crowd cheered as they kissed on the screen, clapping as it phased back to the Saturday Night Dead logo.

“Isn’t that just wonderful? Now, Joseph, I’m sure everyone’s just dying to know. _Is bigfoot a good kisser?_ ”

Joseph flushed and desperately hoped Barclay didn’t later think to ask how he could do that on command, the man clearing his throat. “Well, if you must know, he’s fantastic.”

“Is he now? Care to elaborate?” Ned snickered, Joseph getting redder. Fortunately, Joseph getting flustered suited the kind of scene they were trying to set anyway so he just leaned into it. Barclay chuckled beside him, pulling him closer with a charming fondness.

“Aw, is no one gonna ask me if _Jo’s_ a good kisser?” the sylph mused, Joseph pressing his face to his husband’s shoulder in mock embarrassment as he grinned. They’d spent a good amount of time so far practicing this sort of thing in the last week, figuring out what looked natural. It had been awkward, but Barclay had been patient.

Barclay was already a bit tactile even without the pretext of their fake relationship. He would frequently touch Joseph’s arm or nudge him with his elbow to get his attention, or graze his back when he needed to get past him in the kitchen. Joseph had found a lot of sylphs tended to be tactile like that and it made him excellent at these little shows of affection, but it still wasn’t doing Joseph’s heart any favors. 

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this, Joseph? I don’t want to stress you out here.” Barclay had looked up at him from the sofa that first time they’d “practiced”, Joseph nodding even though he was jittery about it. They’d talked about what they were comfortable with that first night, but they’d barely put it into practice and they’d both realized they needed affection to look less forced if they wanted to sell this. 

Which had somehow turned into the suggestion of scheduled cuddle sessions, which out of context seemed ridiculous.

“No, I’m fine. This is something we need to do.” He carefully had a seat next to Barclay, trying to relax next to his husband. “I just need to adjust.”

“Well, I don’t think approaching this as a task you need to overcome is gonna help.” The sylph chuckled, grazing his fingers along Joseph’s back. They were warm and gentle and Joseph’s breath hitched at the touch, Barclay pulling away frown. “I’m not gonna hurt you, y’know.”

“No, I never thought you would. I’m just... not used to physical contact beyond handshakes,” Joseph replied, rubbing his arms, embarrassment flooding his cheeks. 

“Really? Hm.” The sylph looked thoughtful. “Do you like touching then? Because we can just keep it minimal, there’s definitely couples who don’t get all cozy in public.”

“I don’t... _dislike_ it. Just... keep going. Appearing like a sappy, cuddly couple deeply in love is to our benefit here.”

“Well, okay.” Barclay’s hand was back between his shoulders-blades, rubbing gently before pulling Joseph closer to him. “Good?”

“Mhm.”

“Here, try putting your head on my shoulder, I think you’ll be more comfortable like that.”

“Alright.” Joseph did want he was told, leaning over and resting his head against the sylph. He could smell the man’s soft scent, able to feel each breath he took. Barclay also ran warm, possibly from his animal physiology underneath his disguise, but as someone who frequently got cold, Joseph found it pleasant.

“Hey, how about we turn the TV on? This will probably be easier if we don’t focus on it.”

“Oh, sure.”

Joseph wasn’t sure that would help, but they turned it on nonetheless, watching quietly together. Barclay turned it to some cheesy soap-opera, which Joseph was grateful for. They were both a little tired of hearing about their wedding on the news.

Barclay rubbed his arm and Joseph shifted to get more comfortable against the other man, pulling his legs up onto the sofa. Feeling bold, Joseph’s hand drifted, resting his hand on Barclay’s knee and idly rubbing the fabric of his jeans. The sylph gave him an encouraging smile in return, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

And they’d just sat like that, watching television together. It was comfortable and when Barclay’s fingers drifted into his hair, Joseph realized just how starved of this sort of closeness he’d been. It had been so long since he’d touched anyone like this.

“Still good?”

“Yes.” Joseph let out a long sigh. “This is nice.”

Barclay hadn’t said anything after that and Joseph was worried he’d let his heart show on his sleeve just a little too much, but they’d still sat together until it was time to go to bed, and then they’d done it again the next night.

There was an intimacy to it that he found himself craving the more they did it, but Joseph knew he wouldn’t be able to disguise a need for physical comfort with practice forever. And when that day came, Joseph wasn’t sure what he’d do.

Maybe nothing.

But that was a different problem for a different day. Certainly not for when they were in the middle of an interview.

“Now, I’m sure you’ve both talked about it a hundred times over at this point, but remind us here on Saturday Night Dead just how the two of you met.”

“Well, it was about two years ago at a conference in Seattle. We’d crossed paths before, but there was a dinner that night and we ended up getting seated close together and got to chatting,” Joseph started, glancing at his husband. 

They’d rifled through all their previous encounters through the years to find the perfect time for their supposed relationship to have begun, settling on this particular conference. They _had_ actually been at the same dinner that night and had been seated fairly close, but in truth, they’d only said a few words to each other. 

Still, if anyone remembered back to that night, they’d be hard-pressed to find a flaw in their carefully spun tale. 

“That’s right, I remember looking over and knowing I just _had_ to talk to this gorgeous man. He’d given an amazing talk that day and I remember I asked him at first about some finer details on what he’d said, but we eventually just sort of slipped into talking about other stuff, which... _maybe_ turned into some flirting. Well, _I_ was flirting, I’m not sure if Jo knew I was flirting until I asked him to join me for dinner the next night.” Barclay nudged Joseph playfully, the other man putting a hand over his mouth sheepishly.

"I will admit, while I was near-instantly attracted to him, I did not actually pick up on the flirting until he asked me. I've been known to be a bit... _oblivious_ in regard to things like that. Fortunately, Barclay's rather to the point."

The crowd laughed, but their little story left Joseph with a particular feeling he didn’t quite know how to describe, a soft _what if_ settling in his chest that left him gazing down to where his hand now rested on Barclay’s knee. 

If he had actually thought to say anything to the sylph seated two seats down and across from him at that dinner, would he and Barclay have been doing this for real? If he recalled correctly, he’d instead spent much of that evening too preoccupied with persuading a particularly stodgy high-born sylph to their cause to pay Barclay much mind.

It left a hollow feeling in his gut.

"So I'm guessing your torrid romance got off the ground from there? Must've been hard with the two of you having different schedules all the time."

"Oh yeah, tell me about it. We spent a lot of time texting each other starting out, sleepy phone calls from different time-zones, that sort of thing. It was pretty rare to actually get to see each other." Barclay nodded, settling his arm on the back of the sofa. Another lie well-crafted for their situation. No one could call them out for never being seen together if they were open about it being a long-distance relationship from the beginning.

"And I'm guessing when you guys did get to see each other, sparks flew, huh?" 

"Oh goodness. Well... yes."

"Oh yeah, big time. It was like we were trying to make up for everything we missed while we were apart." Barclay beamed, kissing Joseph's temple. Joseph's heart-rate spiked at the gesture, but he kept his composure. "It was kinda fun sneaking to each other's rooms like bandits in the night."

"Now, why the need for all the secrecy? Your relationship only came up when you announced your engagement six months ago; I'm sure many folks are wondering why you hid it." 

That hadn't been on the script. Joseph and Barclay glanced at each other nervously, but his husband nodded and reassuringly patted his thigh before taking the question.

"Well, as you know we're both members of the Human-Sylph Peace Alliance and once it became apparent they we had feelings for each other, we kinda got worried that folks might judge our relationship and how it might affect our involvement in the Alliance. Plus, we are a human and a sylph, not exactly the most typical couple."

Joseph nodded, understanding where Barclay was going with this. "Yes, we didn't want our relationship to interfere with the kind of work we've been trying to do to find peace among our people, this sort of thing can call loyalties into question. But we've come in great strides these last few years and finally we felt like we could come out and be open about it. And frankly, we were a little sick of all the waiting and hiding."

"I see, well that makes good sense. I'm sure the hiding wasn't easy on you fellas. And what better way to announce your relationship than a wedding, ah?" Ned chuckled, leaning in. There was a sharp glint in the man’s eye that Joseph wasn’t sure he liked. "Which brings me to my next question, who proposed? My bet's on Barclay."

"Well, that's a bet you're going to lose, Ned, because Jo's the one who proposed first."

"Really now?" The talk show host leaned back again, looking surprised.

"Yes, I wanted to do a proper Sylvan proposal and everything, which was complicated, but very worth it." Joseph nodded, interlacing his and Barclay's fingers. "Of course, imagine our surprise that Barclay had already gotten me a ring too. So you're half right, I just beat him to the punch."

“Now _that’s_ adorable. And you fellas obviously decided on a short engagement.”

“Yes, well, we’d felt like we’d waited long enough, didn’t we, love?”

“Yeah, we were pretty eager to start our lives together so we decided on having the wedding sooner than later. I think it also helped us from second-guessing ourselves on every little decision. Gotta make those choices quick when you’ve only got half a year to plan.”

“Which was definitely for the best, I know I would have waffled on the flower arrangements for ages if Barclay hadn’t suggested we turn everything over to the shop a friend of his works at. They did a fantastic job,” Joseph added, Barclay nodding approvingly.

The interview continued without much fuss and without Ned going off script again. They also discussed what this could mean for other sylph-human marriages going forward, something Joseph was far more adept at discussing once it got to the politics of it. Barclay watched on with an expression of adoring amusement as Joseph talked in length on the matter, commenting from time to time, until it was almost time to wrap things up. 

“Well, this has all been very enlightening you two, but before you go, maybe you could indulge me one more question. Joseph, call me a sap but I have to know. Do you enjoy being able to be swept off your feet by Barclay in his true form? I’m sure that’s not something a man of your height ever thought he’d get to experience. Assuming he does of course.”

“Oh, well I... He may have once or twice.” Joseph did his best to seem flustered, but something about this question seemed suspicious to him. They all stood as the pair got ready to leave the stage. “It’s definitely nice when he feels so inclined.”

“Really now? Maybe you’d care to give us a little demonstration?”

There it was.

“Sorry, Ned. I don’t do that sort of thing on TV anymore.” Barclay shifted uncomfortably next to Joseph and the man felt something sharp and angry kindle in his chest. He could still remember those interviews, that hesitation, that discomfort. Barclay nervously rubbed his bracelet, obviously caught off-guard by this.

“Aw, come now, it’s just a little fun. Don’t you wanna carry your handsome husband here off backstage?” There was a cheer of encouragement from the crowd as Ned grinned cheekily.

“I-” The sylph fidgeted with the clasp of his disguise, swallowing as he glanced between Joseph, Ned, and out at the audience. But before he could do anything, Joseph stopped him, carefully taking Barclay’s hands.

“You don’t have to, Barclay. It’s fine.” He murmured, squeezing his fingers gently before turning to Ned and giving the man his most charming smile, eyes filled with cold rage. “With all due respect, Ned Chicane, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t treat my husband’s body as a public spectacle for your own benefit. Now, it’s been a lovely evening, we really should be going.”

The audience went jarringly quiet, punctuated with low murmurs of discomfort.

“A-ah, yes. Of course.” Ned seemed shaken for just a moment, but quickly picked up his wide grin once more, letting out a rumbling laugh. “Sounds like someone’s a bit possessive, huh folks? Guess that’s only fair. What your husband says goes, big guy, you’ll just have to carry him off into the sunset on your own time. You two have a lovely night! Let’s give it up for Barclay and Joseph Stern everyone!”

The tension broke and the audience cheered as Ned gave them both a wave as they started off the side of the stage and disappeared behind the curtain. The last thing Joseph heard before they were out of earshot was Ned gearing up his audience for whatever monster movie he’d be showing tonight, but frankly he was too furious to care.

“Joseph. Joseph, hey slow down. Where are you even going?” It was only Barclay’s voice that gave him pause, the man blinking when he felt the sylph’s hand on his shoulder, realizing he’d just started walking for the nearest exit without a destination in mind. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“I... I don’t know.” He turned to face his husband, embarrassment setting in as he realized what he’d just done, frowning down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I don’t what came over-

“Joseph, it’s okay.”

“No, that was... I don't know what that was, but my conduct was unacceptable. I just- I couldn’t let him-”

“Joseph, look at me.” Joseph grimaced and finally looked up at Barclay’s request, only to be taken aback by the undeniable gratitude on the sylph’s face. “It’s okay. If anything, I should be thanking you.”

“For... ruining our interview?”

“For standing up for me.”

“Well, of course. It’s your body, Barclay, I wasn’t about to just let Ned Chicane heckle you into something you’ve obviously never wanted to do.” Joseph blinked, a little confused now. He’d have throught Barclay would be mad. “I could have just used a great deal more tact- Oh!”

Before he could say anything else, Joseph found himself wrapped in a hug. The sylph was warm and his grip was gentle but firm, reminding Joseph of the strength that lay just below the surface.

After the surprise wore off, Joseph smiled softly and hugged the sylph back, pressing his nose against Barclay’s shoulder. This relationship might not have been what Joseph had thought marriage would be like, but Barclay was quickly becoming a friend to him and one he was perhaps a bit protective of. He gave the sylph a squeeze.

Barclay was charming and funny and kind, and he often seemed like he could handle himself, sometimes better than Joseph could. But he was realizing, even for all his virtues, his husband still had struggles and they were struggles that were often ignored.

And knowing that, Joseph resolved that, from now on, he was always going to have Barclay’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a disclaimer, I love Ned, he's a great character. But in this universe, where everything is going right for him, he's _kind of_ more of a bastard XD
> 
> Artwork is by me! This is my first time drawing Ned and the whole thing was fun. I might do more art like this in the future, but we'll see.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I always appreciate feedback!


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